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More about Language interpretations My wife and I just had couples therapy this afternoon. Up came a big issue for my wife that I will needs to further discuss with her. I am here to cement my ideas about the issue. The issue stems from a different perspective of issues. Lets call it the Ego...

I feel like my wife and I are making several steps forward and one or two back. The progress we are making has been very encouraging. Probably the greatest step forward has been a new spiritual understanding that has given us the ability to communicate using a common language. For me poly has...

To me this seemed like the perfect point. It is funny what life throws at us. Kind of like the statement "God laughs at those who plan". I believe that relationships are put in front of us to help us learn our life lessons. You state that you wanted to work on yourself and not do the...

NO, NO, NO...... The gay guys were very supportive. You misread the tone of my rant. The tone was that....Here I am taking this thing seriously, like it is some type of important confession when in reality it is no different than confessing... "I have a very big secret....." (listener waits...

So I recently had an experience that made the point of how hideous our current societal norms are with respect to monogamy. My therapy is my 12 step program fellowship. Several weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon, I thought I would go to a different meeting. I saw one in the directory relating to...

Interesting thread. Yes I would imagine many, if not most, men would have a very hard time with "their woman" (this is put in quotes and worded this way for a reason) having sex with another man. Yet this same man wants the opportunity to stick his dick in other woman. Herein lies the challenge...

I'm not quite sure what type of progress I am making towards a poly lifestyle. I would have to say really not much on a physical level. However there is some small movement on a attitude level. There was a post that cited an article called The Most skipped Step when Opening a Relationship...

Kevin, Thanks for the list and the book suggestion. I will comb through it. Ravencroft, WTF? Were you having a bad day? Or felt the need to project your issues on to somebody else? I just asked for a referral. Just looking for a therapist that when you mention poly, they don't say what's...

Pittarotaro, Maybe try this on for size. It sounds like you have a vision or need for this immersive experience of love. One that sweeps you away. Not such a bad thing, I think we all yearn for this. We have this vision of what this would feel like and can imagine where this relationship would...

Does anyone here have suggestions for a poly friendly marriage counselor around the Los Angeles area. I live on the south end of LA right by the orange co border. So north orange county would work as well. I am waiting for a return call from one listed on the poly referral site in my town, but...

It has been about a month and a half since I last wrote. I just re read my last post and I see the most important point is that my wife acknowledged the existence of my girlfriend. Communication with my girlfriend has been essentially non existent from my prospective. Maybe 4-6 calls over the...

Label...... ah..... there in lies the problem..... They suck! They mean one thing to one person and another to some one else. Example. I run. I have since I was 14, often times several times a week. I have even run ultra marathons. People looking at me would say I am a runner. But I don't feel...

Sentinel, I want to bring up a point that I believe has yet not been made. I realize that I may be off base and maybe some of the women want to chime in. First off, I am a guy, and see things through a man's prospective, however, I would like to think that I have done a lot of work to see...

Galagirl, Thanks for such a well thought out and comprehensive reply. While I am not the OP, I am traveling the same path. So thanks for the help.

Gmike, I really appreciate the prospective of our more seasoned forumites. Starting out small and working up to bigger things would be my recommendation. As an an example in my case. First I needed to define what poly means to me. Ravenscroft pointed this out very well and Galagirl asked a...

GMike, Welcome aboard, there are many here with vast experience, I am not one of them. My path is somewhat similar, in that I am also a married man in my 50's mostly mono for most of my married years. From everything I have read, it is much easier to start poly rather than open an existing...

I am about 45 days into my wife sobering up and I have to say that while it has been tumultuous, the end result is that everything is evolving in a great way. I resumed communication with my girlfriend, the one my wife was threatened by. This has understandably caused anxiety with my wife and...

Let me state up front that this wasn't always the case for me as I didn't know what poly was until a couple of years ago. I believe poly and spirituality and inextricably tied together. True love expects nothing in return. It simply is. It is not given in exchange for something in return. That...

Youstolemyusername, Unfortunately/fortunately, I feel like I may understand your situation all too well. See this link for a brief overview http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=99619 My wife has been a heavy drinker and this has caused what appeared to be ok communication to then...

Other is what I selected. Two things happened to me that let me down this path. From the negative perspective, how I dealt with an affair in my marriage, acceptance, opening things up sexually, led me to not being threatened or jealous if this were to happen. I literally surrendered to the fact...