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Cool to hear from you MG. :D I often wonder about your little trio. We are back in New Zealand for Christmas and New Year (heading back to Australia on Friday). We may shift back here permanently as my younger daughter isn't coping very well. I often look at your situation and wonder why you...

Oh dear. It is so sad that polyamory is supposed to be about love, and yet it can cause so much pain. My partner and I have achieved a successful poly/mono relationship after a lot of growing pains, so it can be done. What are you doing to try and make it work? That is the first question that...

Hi Urmila Welcome, I'm glad you found this thread too. I am in a slightly similar situation to you in that my partner has another love who he would like to connect to our life. In my case however the woman isn't as keen as he is and this makes it a lot easier for me. We have been able to take...

Hi dinged heart I'm busy with work and study so polyamory has taken a back seat. I tried ok Cupid but it made me very unsettled and I could see it threatening my relationship with Z because part of me still longed for that perfect mono love. So both of us took down our profiles and Z agreed to...

Agreed RP but at the risk of over analysing I honestly don't think I could have worked through everything without the labels in the beginning.Maybe we have to label a chair and learn about a chair before we can simply relax, let it be a chair and just use it for what it was intended.

RP, you mentioned somewhere that you are/were feeling compassion fatigue. I get that, as well. That is why I get on here for a while and then pull away from time to time. It seems there will always be a revolving door of people passing in and out of these forums looking for advice and help. You...

YES NYCINDIE !!! I totally agree with you and I wish someone had suggested this to me a while ago. Although maybe I wasn't ready. If we could drop our identification with labels and just be in a relationship for the way it works best I think everyone would be much happier.

This is his first experience of loving someone deeply (ie me) who is exploring other relationships. Prior to this the shoe has always been on the other foot (so to speak). It's so funny he keeps coming up with all these little objections: "I had to email you for ages before you'd go out with...

Quoting Dinged Heart: "Does this mean that Z will be posting on the struggling section now....that would be ironic. You said he doesn't like change ....what has changed for him? I thought that when you were married you practiced and identified as being poly....then divorced found Z and chose to...

Wow, you have dug up an old post. I had even forgotten I wrote it. We parted ways with our unicorn and haven't tried that route again. Z got tested for STDs and they came back negative. She never told us she got pregnant and we lost touch so can only assume she never did. I have decided to...

I have felt exhausted at times and I have felt drained and totally over polyamory. Right now I'm feeling energised and enriched. In hindsight my periods of exhaustion were usually because I was resisting something. W have to remember to go with the river that is our life and not against it...

Hi Alistair Do a tag search for jealousy. There has been a lot written here about it because it is such a common problem in polyamory and even more so in a polymono relationship. My advice is to try and deconstruct it and work out what you're really feeling. Jealousy as a label for emotions...

I don't really think anyone much wants intimate details, unless there is a special understanding between partners. I prefer to be honest with grown-up and teenage kids, because I think it is damaging to the relationship with them if you preach one thing and then go and do another. I wouldn't do...

I agree, my teenage daughter was horrified, too. I was at a poly group meeting on Sunday and a couple who live with his girlfriend and her teenage daughter, as well as their own daughter, described themselves as a poly family, yet supposedly the kids had no idea about the physical/romantic...

What if I untether from identifying as monogamous? OK, so I haven't got another love in my life at the moment but neither do many polyamorous people. What if we can release identities/labels that no longer serve us?

Thanks, RP. I realised it was old, but misread the date on Mono's list. I didn't realise that was old, too. Although it seems by his comments he likes his mono label. I don't think I like mine anymore. I know I came to this place a number of months ago, but I seemed to get sucked back into the...

I am feeling very full on life at the moment. That is the only way I can describe it and I don't know if it conveys much. I have pushed through a big something and I don't quite know how to "be" on this, the other side of it yet. It's a bit like looking around and being in a whole new world and...

Hi guys and girls, First, whenever I read "mono/poly" something twists inside me. Mono/poly sounds like 'monopoly,' and the very first thing a monogamous person has to come to terms with is that they can never have a monopoly over a polyamorous person. That's why I always refer to it as...

MT, you are sounding like you have a lot of pent-up anger and resentment about your situation. Please don't be angry with me (I haven't read the whole thread either), but maybe you need to open this up to the light of day and share it with your wife. From my own experiences, I don't think much...

Glad you started a new thread Isaac :-) I think you have a bit of a case of NRE with polyamory itself. You do not have enough emotional/sexual energy for your wife so why do you think that down the road you will have enough for anyone else? I have been mono in our relationship until now and...