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It sounds like you are handling it well. But is also sounds like you just haven't had time to fully absorb what is happening. I get warning bells when someone says they want to have sex with a more damaged person. But that may just be his way of saying he wants something different in a way that...

I glanced through it. It was a pretty cool thread. Basically, they are getting some very positive responses and sharing a lot of their views and pictures throughout it.

If she knows the guy is a piece of shit and wants to hang out with him, then there is a good chance she is not fully over him. However, this is her decision. Hopefully, she will be honest this time with whatever she decides. Dishonesty does not mix well with polyamory.

Family members tend to have two basic issues with polyamory. One seems to be an attack on what they see as some basic family values. For Monster's case, they may see it as wrong for a person to persue another man's wife. (I hate to say stuff like that because it implies ownership, but that is...

It is ok to have different rules. It is about stating what you want, which could be different things. Now if you want to be able to have sex or a relationship without his consent, let him know. If he objects, then he is being hypocritical in a saense. However, if it is important, say that is...

I am actually reading the Bible from cover to cover also (I am reading for fun, not because I believe any of it). For the most part, the Old Testament is accepting of one man and many women. There are a few rules like not marrying a mother and daughter. Or a king should not have way too many...

In most cases, I would agree. However, a deist could easily fall into that category. I agree. However, when I look at Fred Phelps, I can see that he really believes in the angry deity of the Old Testament who does kill people for petty things like working on Saturday or touching the ark. So the...

I am curious as to what you mean by this. Do you mean you admire people who have faith in a humanist religion? The reason I ask this is because I heard someone recently talk about the virtue of belief and faith. However, Fred Phelps (of the God Hates Fags fame) has a lot of belief and faith...

I agree with Redpepper, in that you need to see where the relationship is going before you plan too far or try to steer it where it doesn't naturally want to go. Once you get to a phase where you are ready to tell friends and family, there are several threads on this board on coming out. But I...

What do you see as the difference between pantheism and non-theism? It sounds like pantheism is just non-theism by just renaming universe as "god." Is that right?

Ha!

I think many polyamory stories begin out of confused monogamy. So your story is not too unusual. You get a life lesson. You can't help who you fall in love with. You can only try to be as ethical as you can. In hindsight, Ssebo should have had a talk about polyamory with A, and seen how that...

One think I like about polyamory is that relationships can be more fluid. You can go from a sexual relationship to friends without benefits if that is the direction it is heading. But it is all about talking about what you want. Your husband's relationship with this person should roughly be...

I am sorry for your loss, Moonglow. You deserve better than you were treated. Time will dull the pain to an extent. There are some pains that never completely go away, but their impact has been greatly dulled as you go on with life. I would say to take things one day at a time and mourn for...

I tend to give peeople the benefit of the doubt. For example, he may be uncomfortable with poly, but he is giving it a shot. Or maybe he is more comfortable with swinging than with poly. I tend to just ask a person straight out if I see something weird about their story. As long as you ask in a...

I think you should get the idea straight with him about what you are looking for. And let him know that a triad is possible, but may or may not happen. He should read up on poly so he doesn't approach this as a great material for a letter to Penthouse.

From what I have seen, people start off with restrictive boundaries and relax them over time. Just keep communicating, so everyone knows where they stand and what they are comfortable with. As for custody, it probably varies by state/province. I think in general, it would be hard to take the...

I would be irritated in your position. However, I think the best approach is to say something now instead of wait.

While this is kind of going off topic, I have seen a few "What is a primary?" types of discussions. The answers varied. For some, it is a legal or practical one about whom you are the most tied to financially or with kids. For others, it is about commitment and depth of feeling, not about where...

I decided early on that the people who accepted me for who I am are the people I will hand around. So there are some family members that disapprove of me, so I stopped hanging around them. Friends tend to be more accpeting, but those that are uncomfortable tend to drift away. In the end, I have...