Search results

Tinwen is right to point that out. How MUCH to tell so it is enough for sex health/risk profile basics without getting into oversharing/TMI details So the updated agreements could include WHEN to tell updates. Like within a week of new contact and def before sharing sex with each other...

I'm glad it helped you some. Sometimes written is all one can do when apart. Maybe this helps you both. You can read it together. https://www.multiamory.com/radar Galagirl

Let me repeat back what I understand. You correct me if I’m getting it wrong, ok? You are in a poly relationship and are dealing with being apart for 4 months. The agreement is that both of you can see other people, even casually, and that you’ll “tell everything” about sexual health or changes...

Yes. Healthy people can do that, separate like that, because they take personal responsibility for their part in the situation-making. They know how to say "When you do ___, that makes me feel unconsidered. That upsets me. I'd prefer you do __ instead." They do not say "You slut! You piss me...

Why are you oversharing stuff from (you +Max) over on to (you + Ron?) You could have kept the date. Or you could have said, "Ron, I can't make it then. Can I call you next week with a better time?" instead. Ron can see you are too tangled up in Max. He's chosen to step away from the weird...

I'm so sorry you deal in this. It sounds super painful. :( Glad the resources help. I'm not sure you can talk to Max and get him to change if he doesn't think he has any problems and YOU are the problem. Well, is HE the narcissist? And he flips it around on you so he looks good in his mind...

Ugh. Yup. Messy sounding guy. I'm sorry you had to deal in his weird. Galagirl

So maybe since Max is never satisfied and has odd standards, it's ok to break up, since you didn't want primary-secondary anyway, and this is becoming a drag. Then you'd be free and wouldn't have to feel bad anymore. And you aren't an asshole. You are being slut-shamed/shamed because Max seems...

I don't know if this helps you any. Why would you agree to this? Why can't Max process all this ahead of time? If this is polyamory, you WILL be doing all those things with others. Why would you agree to primary-secondary if you prefer a different model? Just to keep dating Max? All this...

Exactly! You and he never talked about what you were ok sharing with each other, so why did he assume that sharing was ok? There was no conversation with you about it. Dude seems self centered or self absorbed. Like just because he is ok telling/hearing about stuff... all people must be like...

I'm sorry to hear about the separation, though it sounds like this is the best path for everyone involved. I hope the process goes as smoothly as possible under the circumstances. It's great to hear that you're both feeling calmer and that you have a suitable flat lined up. Wishing you a smooth...

You are not overreacting. TMI details are TMI. He should ask for your consent before sharing intimate sexual details with his other partner. It’s reasonable for him to share basics like calendar updates, safer sex practices, or health info, but telling her how many times you had sex, and...

I don't know if this helps you any. I think you could be clear about the time you can give to a partner. It doesn't have to be these exact days, and it could mix up every quarter or semester. But it could be-- Mon - Time for yourself to rest, be alone, be with friends or family, etc. Tues --...

I'm sorry hear of mom's passing coupled with this terrible abuse discovery. It's a lot to take in. Rather than pile on MORE changes to the triad... could it be a smaller change, like you living in your own flat rather than at Dad's, so you get a little space away from the Andrew + Quinn dyad...

I don’t know if these reflection questions will help, but maybe they’re worth thinking about before you talk to him: Right now you miss dating women—but what if later you wanted to date men too? Then what? Does it have to be a triad, or could you date someone separately, and him date (or not)...

In your shoes, I'd wait til Easter is closer, say a week out from the family plans, then ask if she's joining me and the kids, or if she had other plans, because originally she was going to be out of town and I was taking the kids. I'd keep it on family logistics and how those might change or...

You are now the ex. Why do you even know this / who is oversharing this with you? For what purpose? :oops: If those two are now taking advantage of an almost homeless lady? Ick. If she's taking advantage of them to get a home? Ick. If it's them rekindling their old thing and it's bona fide on...

Yes. They could have told her, "Before you move in, you need to know that we're triad-dating someone else, so you might see them around." They could have told you, "We've decided to let ex-GF move in because of her homelessness risk. We've told her we are triad-dating you so she might see you...

Wow. The exGF leaves. Then is at risk of homelessness. She asks him to help her. He asks you your opinion before even telling his wife. And then they let her move back in. They do not address how this change affects the triad of (you + him + wife). They just break up with you. This is a...

I'm with Tinwen here— you could both vet potentials together. I also agree with Magdlyn— it might be worth tightening up the agreements. Instead of “nothing past a kiss unless you check in,” you could make it more firm and actionable, like: No alcohol on first meetups No leaving the public...