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Yes, I was actually thinking of this as an alternate plan; in theory it seems really good. What I worry about it that I will, in practice, be thinking about it happening each time she gets together with him, and I will never have a sense of resolution. Or, I will just assume that it's happening...

Thanks, Kevin - I will definitely check those out. I knew there had to be threads like this from the past but wasn't sure how to find them!

Yes, I can see that. Hadn't thought of spending the night as better but definitely better than me wondering when she'll be home - midnight? 2am, 3am? I might even be able to fall asleep. Then I either take off before she gets home (depending on if I can drop the kids off at the grandparents) or...

Yes, I realize that it's very personal; I guess I was thinking I might get some ideas that I might not otherwise think of. That's good advice... maybe one beer with a movie would be okay, but nothing more than that. See this is all good advice and good ideas! We haven't really discussed how...

Hi all, I'm looking for some advice on getting through a specific period in opening a relationship: Starting the sex part. Just as a summary, my partner R came out as poly, we went through a period of poly hell, I got a lot of support on this forum. We're now in couples therapy with a...

Entry 8: I guess it's been about 2 weeks since my last entry. A lot has happened. On the good news, the title of this thread is seeming out of date or even obsolete (okay, I won't go that far, yet). My sense of jealousy continues to decrease as communication improves in my relationship. Just to...

Ha, thanks for sharing this, I feel a bit less alone! "Just fine" with the situation is about where I am at these days. It feels like a success, because it's a major improvement from "like shit" and jealous. So far compersion is more theoretical, as in, I feel good that she feels good about her...

Entry 7: I'm going through a remarkable period of okayness and non-jealousy as Rachel continues her weekly, sometime bi-weekly dates with Frank... it's almost too good to be true, and in fact I think it is too good to be true. Not to say that it's not progress - I genuinely think I've turned a...

Thanks! It's all about perspective, right? :cool:

Entry 6: Oh, man, it has been an interesting week. First things first: I think I am overcoming a lot of my jealousy. Not saying it's all going to be smooth sailing, but I'm in a much better place than I was 6 months ago. Oddly enough, here's what did the trick: I drastically lowered my...

Good tip, BrokenArrow, thanks. The other night I got annoyed about something she did - a breach of trust, mostly symbolic, but still, and I was like, "You know, do whatever you want to do. I don't care." Probably not the best approach... it could come back to haunt me...

Okay, good to know. Makes sense. I'll come up with something for my next post Yes, that article was very helpful even though the tone was a little annoying - I personally don't think the last 20 years of my life were "creepy" (and trust me I've known real creepy in my life). But I let it slide...

Entry 5: Some updates from December. My wife now has found a guy who is poly. She likes him, and he likes her. This is the first time we're really talking non-theoretically, so it's new territory. (The guy she was friends with from the fall, who I was jealous of/freaking out about, turned into...

Hey BrokenArrow! Well, I'll certainly update you... but things change day to day. On Wednesday I was grumpy and annoyed about a recent "date" she went on; Thursday I was ready to go play tennis with this guy if he helps me with my OKC profile; and this evening she's seeing if she can match me up...

Hi, I'm back! At least temporarily/sporadically. I have really appreciated the support on this forum, but realized back in January that I needed to do a digital detox, both around online-poly stuff, and screen time in general. 4 months have passed. My partner stalled on finding a therapist (I'd...

Hi, First of all, I'm honored to be the subject of discussion on your blog, icesong! :) I really appreaciate your discussion, not just about me, but about general relationship dynamics. I don't have a lot of time to add my two cents here in response to what's been said, but I will throw out...

Okay, maybe that was clear to you, or to her, but it wasn't clear to me. Or at least, I wanted it to be explicit. Good, I'm writing these down for future use. Thanks! Well, I didn't mean to imply a fixation. I do feel like it was important topic to address (as do others here on this thread)...

Entry 6 - First of all, I appreciate everyone's responses, even if I have not responded to them directly. I am definitely taking them in. Secondly, I think I need to take another vacation from this direction of inquiry. I am feeling discouraged, and heading into a family ski trip where I want...

You are right - you caught me in a traditional, non-poly, way of viewing relationship. I have not quite wrapped my head around this perspective, and maybe I never will. I love all of my kids the same, but I also love my kids more than I love other people's kids. I can't help it, and I also might...

For the record, I wasn't ever going to impose tubal ligation! I did want to ensure we were on the same page; if she said, "I'm using the pull out method," (ignoring STIs for a sec). Genuine question - Is this a well-accepted part of poly, not asking for details about birth control from the...