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Been with my partner for nearly 28 years. Never married because I did that once young and I feel it gives people a false sense of relationship security. We've been open for 10. New to poly. It's only made us closer. If for any reason we lose our connection during our journeys of self-discovery...

I'm just going to second and third what's been said about people flirting because it feels safe. We come from the swingers world and there's been more than 1 time in a vanilla environment that a woman doesn't know that and thinks my husband is unavailable, overtly flirting almost as a power...

Is she really polyamorous? I think so, but not passionately so, so is content with a 1 on 1 relationship if it's fulfilling her needs. My husband thinks he is poly but he's not actively seeking any external relationships. She sounds really confused too which wasn't going to be easy. And you...

Agree - I'm 'in the lifestyle' and he's being really unethical IMO. What's the point of being open if you're just going to lie and be dishonest.

Another update - my last post in mid-August was the last time I had seen the boyfriend. Communication between us has been patchy, I had a really rough time for a few weeks with my immediate family overseas catching covid, financial issues as work dried up with the lockdowns here and more...

This mirrors my thoughts a bit - except I find mono-amorous ENM to be way more easy and simple to navigate than polyamory - I don't have much poly experience but what I have experienced swings between a lovely bliss and then feeling crappy because I'm invested in what is ultimately an...

I guess if he has pulled back for you whilst she's actually available (and not in a sham marriage pretending to the husband everything is normal) that does speak to his dedication to your established connection. I think all you can really do is communicate as much as possible with him. Both my...

So she's still married? And her husband knows nothing about this? Sorry if I read this wrong.

My origin story unravels through my past threads but 1st I propositioned my partner re:ENM dragged him kicking and screaming into a lifestyle he actually likes. 10 years ago. Then he tried to do the same with poly to me but it went nowhere. 5 years ago. Then 8 months ago I caught feelings for...

You see with swinger couples lots of couples who have been together since they were in high school. My husband and I have been together nearly 30 years. We're both 50. I think there's trust in the strength of your relationship to give change a try. And in our case our existing monogamous...

I've been in the swingers scene for nearly a decade and I even feel like this is a big leap/a bit much. It reads more like a fantasy than something someone dives straight into after 2 years. I guess maybe she's been holding back on swinging activity and it's built up to this as a big release...

A little bit of an update. We're going through lockdowns and strict border controls. My last quality encounter with the boyfriend was 6 weeks ago, we'd briefly caught up once a week in July for a chat, always with his kids around (so acting like friends)... We had a brief lift of lockdowns, on...

Swingers or Poly MF couples with a NO SINGLE GUYS!!! policy don't know what they're missing. It's definitely coming from a space of insecurity but often too, couples open up because the female really wants to explore her bisexuality. Maybe different again for MF couples where the M is bi. I...

This sits really badly for me. My husband and I have a no cheaters rule and whatever the previous friendship - that guy's a cheater. It's so disrespectful to his partner - I've accidentally connected with 2 cheaters (learned after) and discovered ENM after kissing a cheater who didn't want to...

I've fallen into this from a swinging background. It's kind of ideal for me, and works well for my guys who are both straight and without the capacity for extra relationships at the moment. I have been with my hubby for 27 years, known the boyfriend for 2 but only called it a relationship since...

I think too you should question whether it's a poly life you want - love, relationships and connection with others (and for your husband to be free to do that too). Or whether sex alone would be enough to keep you content in your marriage in which case there are many flavours of ethical non...

Thanks Kevin and Evie I'm trying too to have more empathy and sit in the space of caring rather than receiving. Boyfriend had a cancer scare about a month ago, he was clearly really worried (as he is the sole carer for his kids) and he leaned on me a bit and really took the emotional comfort...

I found myself open to poly because -amongst other reasons - having a boyfriend and a husband was bringing all kinds of fun distractions to what can sometimes be a heavy 1st world life (really my life is ok, there's just stuff)... Anyway hubby has health issues suddenly as does boyfriend, so...

I come from a swinging background. Lots of experience of the London scene although I am not based there. I feel a bit uncomfortable about your husband looking at someone who in many ways is your sister-in-law. Maybe because you all went there before it feels like an easier ask? Reading your...

I'm no expert. Except to say I have experienced having my partner drop the concept on me when I was not ready - and then coming full circle to be the one transitioning our relationship into poly... When he expressed his desire to explore to me I felt - frightened, unwanted, less valuable to...