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Hi paramour, Firstly, I think that it's important to bear in mind that existing dynamics are existing dynamics regardless of what the labels are. Even if this guy (let's just call him Guy) and his ex are not in an official relationship any more, it's not uncommon for people to continue sharing...

Hi Tiger, I think that in all honesty, it's not surprising you felt bad. From what I understand, it was the first time they'd gone off and done something alone like that? Also, who really wants to be stuck in bed overcoming an accident when their partner and someone else they have feelings for...

Hi flute. I think it's great that you are very patient and compassionate already. Those are wonderful qualities to have. Since your wife is very happy with the status-quo and you are not, I'm guessing that your wife isn't interested in working on increasing the amount of sexual intimacy...

Hi Squirrel, Interesting situation! My advice would be to slow this right down and pause for a second. If it works for you *and* your husband *and* your friend, great. But there needs to be a full yes from every one of you, not just the guys. Things are exciting right now, but you're...

Hi flutebard, I agree with much of what KC is saying, and also with nycindie. The reality is that you are very unhappy with the lack of sexual intimacy in your marriage. This is something that your wife has contributed to and cannot just be buried. However, unless your wife is simply...

Haha.... :rolleyes: Oh dear... Charming! I'm sorry (for you) that it went down that way with your bf. One thing I could say is that, from personal experience of being the 'new person' coming into a long-term marriage, your proposition may be more difficult for your boyfriend to cope with than...

Hi :) It's always disappointing when we feel that we've FINALLY met someone who might be exactly what we've been looking for and something is stopping that from evolving. Just because you've only had one date, it doesn't mean that this woman *isn't* as good a fit as you think (at least in...

Hi paramour, You raise a logical question and I see why you are concerned. I really do think that everyone has a different saturation point. It also depends on what kind of relationships you want and what's going on in your life other than relationships. For instance, I like deep...

Hi metandwessy, No, I do not feel that you are not being unsupportive, silly, or any other negative phrase that is floating around in your head. However, I'm going to play Devil's advocate for a moment. To me, it seems that either your partner simply doesn't quite grasp HOW important Vday is...

Hi Seneca, I think your husband knows that you would stop polyamory if he shared his innermost thoughts. He wants to see you happy and wants to give this a chance. He also deserves the chance to work on some of his anxieties and become a stronger person. If polyamory is a catalyst for this...

Hello HotMamma. Congratulations on your pregnancy! So it's not that your boyfriend has started a connection he doesn't want to back out of, but that he simply wants to carry on playing about until later in your pregnancy? This makes absolutely no sense to me. He's essentially saying that...

You could ask this question! It sounds like you're wanting to spread your social butterfly wings. It also sounds like you don't perhaps necessarily want live-in partner to go... and cramp your style... ~grins~ Well, I think it's important to be able to spread your wings and do the things that...

Hi sludgepot, It sounds like they're not necessarily 'separating' but trying something different. This could be a great thing for their relationship. I often think that some poly relationships can benefit from separate living spaces. It can mean that people are able to be more present in a...

Awww... this is lovely! Thank you for taking the time to post. It's wonderful to hear that your husband has turned a corner and that you are enjoying a fresh bout of NRE with him. It's an absolutely astounding feeling when long-term relationships get an injection of new intimacy, and I think...

Hi Smile, Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that your wife is going through this. Poly breakups can be really rough, especially when one of your partners is dating someone else. The slow fade is the damn worst. If it's of any consolation to your lovely wife - tell her that she's not alone! I...

Welcome back, CaptainCharisma. I remember your previous thread. I could be wrong, but I personally think that what you might be experiencing is the lure of the forbidden. You're 21, so of course this is a period of sexual awakening too - just one that is likely magnified by feeling trapped in...

Hi Elizabeth, I've read through the thread and there has been some great advice already. In my opinion, the letter you wrote to your BF was fair, loving and productive. You were reassuring, but also clear about your own needs. There is absolutely nothing at all wrong with wanting sexual...

Good advice here already, especially from nycindie and GreenAcres. I'm so sorry you are going through this mess, especially while you are pregnant. It definitely sounds like the triad option is out. The alarm bells are ringing for price of admission behaviour. As nycindie so rightly said -...

Hi kwidener, If you and your partner have a companionate relationship and are happy to keep it the way it currently stands (mostly non-sexual), and your partner is up for you finding that sexual relationship with your friend, this could work out well. The key here is to find out whether this is...

Hi zigzag, You're polyamorous if you have loved or do love more than one person at the same time, or if you embrace the idea of doing so and identify as being open to loving more than one person at once. ;) Can be monogamous in practice, but embrace polyamory, polysexuality (sexual attraction...