Search results

Hahahaha.

Hi palimpsest, and welcome. Firstly, I don't think you're overreacting at all. I can see why this situation bothers you. I agree with all of your perceptions. Alistair bowing to irrational demands simply to avoid yet more hell with Sophie is a classic codepedent response to emotional abuse...

Hi silencebreaking, I would say this is more typical of friendship groups or communities of any kind that you might find in the world. Gay groups, lesbian groups, hetero groups, HIGH SCHOOL groups. Unfortunately, some people form cliques, some people are assholes, and some people are...

Hi Dolly, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a breakup right now. Breakups are undoubtedly shitty. Early poly breakups can DOUBLE suck because there can be so many emotions flying and factors flying around. Your need = to heal and be left to process. Primary's need = to understand...

Hi Jules, It's a pleasure to meet you, and welcome back. I just read through your older threads your posts are interesting to me. I'm so sorry to hear that one of your relationships (the fiance you spoke about?) was abusive, and it makes complete sense that you need some time to breathe...

Hi again caribou, I'm so glad that being here has helped you to start finding some comfort and new perspectives. I think this is fair enough if it's something you both want to keep quiet for now. Advice from those around us can be very useful, but if friends and family are likely to be...

This is a great point too.

Hi Ms PF, I agree with nycindie. Your soulmate and his girlfriend being in a DADT relationship casts things in a very different light! Do you think there might be a part of you that feels less important or special to him because he's not sharing anything about you to someone he's involved...

Hi epiphany, Oh God, this is awful. I really am so sorry for what you are going through. Yes, I've definitely dealt with partners' lies/withholding of information/broken boundaries in both poly and monogamous relationships. It's horrible. I've learnt some interesting lessons through all of...

Hi RaeAmaya, and welcome! I hope you enjoy being here with us on the forum, and that we get to hear more from you! ~ Sparklepop

Poly drama is the pits. Ugh. Most of us have dealt with it at some point or another. Everyone has given good advice. I especially like HappilyFallenAngel's perspectives, and I think there's a lot to learn from her. Essentially then, at the moment, your problem is different to your original...

Hi caribou, and welcome :) There seems to be a trend in people deciding to get married before they reveal to their new husband or wife that... erm... actually... "I think I'm polyamorous". I'm really sorry that you are going through upset right now. It's completely understandable, and you must...

Welcome back, Boolean. It's good to hear from you. I remember your posts and am glad to read an update. So, your situation is now as follows? - C plans to end it with T in Jan 2015 - You must be monogamous until then - You will both be monogamous from Valentine's Day - C fundamentally feels...

Hi Justin, In all honesty... I'm not sure. I don't think that most people are poly and in denial, but I do think that many people have the capacity to love more than one person, and CERTAINLY to be sexually attracted to more than one person. It does frustrate me when I see someone cheating. I...

Hi Annabel, I'm really pleased to hear that you and Pike have had a discussion to explore some options! I think that's really great news. I'm also pleased that you've reflected and considered the possibility of being able to offer something more. All things change and we change with them, as...

When you say that S is wanting to split things equally with you and M, do you mean he wants to spend equal amounts of time with each of you, or something else? How long have the three of you been involved? Many people (but not all) begin their poly journey under the hierarchical model of...

Hi FogCity, I'm so sorry you are going through this. It must be very difficult. I'm with Kevin on this. Why does your wife want you to end it with your other partner? In terms of offering perspective, my initial opinion is that it's never a good idea to end a relationship for someone else...

Hi Justin, Ok, first things first. Many of us find ourselves in situations that aren't by-the-book ethically fantastic or right for us. Many of us have settled for less than we want, gone after people we shouldn't, remained with people who aren't good for us, or whatever else. It's human to...

Hi Annabel, I'm really glad that you have found some perspective and comfort in what people have said, and that I have helped you to consider alternative options. You sound like you are reaching a healthy point of processing. Heartbreak feels so intense when we are going through it, but we...

Hi numinous, I'm not certain what your old username was, but from what I understand you are a woman (?) who has realised how much you love other women, and whilst you used to do non-monogamy with men, you're feeling that you only want to be monogamous with women. Firstly, I can most...