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Hi Rose, I'm very glad to hear that you found my response, and other posters' responses, helpful! I think that you're being sensible admitting to yourself that compartmentalised poly isn't going to cut it in your current situation! You absolutely could ask Mike and your metamour if they...

Hi BeingRose, I am interested in your thread and can definitely relate to your struggles. I hope I can offer something helpful. As others have said, if you struggle to see Mike and your metamour together, simply continuing to avoid those situations is a genuinely viable option. Being poly...

Hi and welcome :) Some serious red flags are flying for me based on your post: - You have known your new guy for a month and are both high on NRE. - His primary is out of the country until early 2015. - He's telling you things he hasn't told his primary... and he's admitting this to you. -...

Hi PrettyInBlue, I understand how it can feel to not be a public part of a poly relationship. I'm very glad to hear that your girlfriend is out to everyone besides her mother, since being in an 'out' relationship seems to be important to you. If this helps, being an open member of a polyship...

Only look at your discomforts and what you can do to change them. There is absolutely no need to tell your partner that you think his other lovers are unattractive. Have you delved inside yourself and asked yourself why you feel the need to do this? I ask this on a genuine level. Do you feel...

I just wanted to lift this up, because WH put it perfectly. Both GalaGirl and WhatHappened have offered wonderful advice, as always. All I can do is agree with them and add to this. I hear that you began your relationship thinking it would be casual sex and it evolved into something deeper. I...

Hi mischa, I'm sorry to hear that your relationship has ended, and I understand that you are feeling hurt and frustrated. It's great that you have taken your experiences with this person and identified what your needs are. You need more commitment, more consistency, and you need a partner who...

Hi Becca, I found your story interesting to read. Thank you very much for sharing it. I agree with your suggestion that it's good practice to speak directly to metamours at times, rather than going through mutual partners. I also agree with your suggestion about making sure you say the things...

Hi miamikicks, and welcome. :) I think that it's somewhat accurate to say that polyamory takes courage, but I also think that it takes bucketloads of compassion. I understand your fears about losing your wife if you decide that this path is an absolute must for you. This is no doubt petrifying...

Hi EDMK, You're very welcome for the opinions. So, this conversation has been hanging for about 11 days. I actually don't see you as impatient in this instance, but I respect that you are trying to work on your overall tendency to push for what you want. I can relate to it. If bf's wife has...

Hi EDMK, When you say that your boyfriend needs to have a deep talk with his wife, what do you mean? And how does this impact the scheduling between the two of you? Do you mean he needs to talk to her about seeing you more, or something along those lines? Or that you can't see each other again...

Hi Dragonfly, I'm sorry to hear that you and your primary are going through this. It's rough, and I definitely understand it. Ultimately, your primary is right - only he can work through his envy. It might realistically be that things are rough on your primary until he finds a secondary for...

This is an interesting question, and one I've thought about myself in the past. I've been in situations where I've wanted to meet metamours, situations where I haven't wanted to, and situations where I've been 'requested' (told) to meet them. The results vary. I think that meeting a metamour...

Hi Sannafrid, It's frustrating and confusing when this happens!! For sure, alcohol can be a factor in first date flirtation, as others have noted. I also find that first dates have a nervous-excited energy about them, while any one of the next few dates can tend to lose that buzz somewhat. This...

I do see what you are saying, WhatHappened, and I agree in some part with your point. :) It could be that Hubby simply doesn't want to adhere to any guidelines, and will break any agreements that are made. However, if this is the case, where does this leave them? Perhaps I'm being too black and...

Welcome, Damabupuk! I'm sorry to hear that your wife is struggling with comparing herself to other people. I understand that struggle all too well!! In terms of the age gap, is your wife struggling because the woman you've been talking about/with is much younger? If so, your wife is feeling...

Hi Momof4, I know from your previous posts that trust is an issue between you, and that you guys opened up your relationship after you discovered that Hubby had been searching for sex partners online, which he said was just research. This combined with the broken guidelines in your current post...

Hi Natalie, I'm sorry you are in this situation, and I understand that you are in turmoil. In my opinion, cheating means breaking whatever rules you have agreed to uphold in your relationship. You are cheating - you are having an emotional affair. You are cheating because you are breaking the...

Hi KC, I wrote my reply before the other responses came through, so have edited! It makes sense that Guy is struggling given how new S2 is. A person could be "not the jealous type", but could still have struggles from time to time based on other factors. For instance, you say that Guy asked...

Hi Stephy, Welcome to the forum :) I think the best thing you can do is approach this honestly yet tactfully. Everything in life involves some kind of learning curve, and if it doesn't work out with K for some reason, it will work out with someone else in the future! You are only just starting...