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I'm not sure whether you would like an extra opinion or not, but I'll add it anyway and if you want it, it's here. I would say... - Talk about your Fetlife boundaries now and get hubby to make a decision on whether he wants to remain linked to you on FL. You are right - he makes the choice...

When I'm faced with situations like this, I now decide to remove myself from the situation as much as possible. This can look like saying to you partner once, and only once, "I don't like this person. I don't like the effect she has on people around her. If you want her back in your life, that...

Hi Vervain :) Your questions are understandable and I think it's good to ask questions! I think it depends on what your needs are right now. Since you've been together for so very long and haven't had much experience of dating, you might find that your biggest need right now is simply to...

Hi Mischa, The way I see it, being the enabler for someone else cheating means that you are equally responsible for the (horrendous) pain caused by cheating if/when the other person finds out. Just because you aren't breaking a promise to your partner (I agree - it's the monogamous person that...

Welcome back unicorn, Firstly, don't be embarrassed about any confused terminology. When I first posted here, I described my relationship as a triad and promptly got told it was a V. That is how I learnt that a V even existed ;) It sounds like not only are you dealing with a broken heart, but...

I'm happy to have helped with the link. Hang in there. Trust me - 5 years from now you'll think of him as "that early poly guy" ;) It will be ok.

Yes!! Whooooooo ;)

Hi booboofish, For what it's worth, I'm not thinking that the answer is for you and your bf to break up. I'm thinking that the answer is to accept each other the way you each are and also look at a few things you could each do. Firstly, your BF could acknowledge the different ways that you...

Hi LB! Welcome! I agree with bookbug, that you could define it as dating. I've also personally always liked the term 'involved'. I've used that definition for all kinds of relationships that go beyond platonic friendship. Ultimately though, I'd *genuinely* say - fuck what everybody else...

Hi bagpipe, I remember your earlier thread and how you talked about the NRE between you and your bf being incredibly strong, while your relationships with your respective primaries were in a different, less passionate, stage. I also remember how you were very eager to move quickly with bf, but...

It sounds to me like this might be a combination of what kdt said (LDR) and unplanned reaction (upset) to an unplanned event (they're unreachable for longer than they said they would be). If everything else feels good and in place - you're happy with the secondary idea, recognise the efforts...

Hi threefiveeight, I see your dilemma and I think it's wonderful that you are trying to differentiate between feelings of jealousy and judgement over ethics. As others have said, it is perfectly possible for both feelings to exist at the same time, and it doesn't mean that your ethical...

First question: Are you in a D/s relationship, or a 24/7 Master/slave relationship? If you have agreed to a Master/slave dynamic, you only have two options: agree to offer all decisions about your life entirely to your Master, or decide that you are not willing to offer all decisions about...

Good question! For me, it depends. I go easy on the PDA in front of metamours, and if I'm with multiple partners of my own. If a partner of mine has an existing partner (especially long term, or married), I find watching their PDA very sweet / no problem. If a partner of mine is dating...

Hi MisterC, I'm not a man, but my 'wife' sleeps with men, if that counts ;) I can tell you that I found her first time excruciating. I used to wonder exactly the same thing as you: will this ever get better? Around 2.5 years have passed since then, and I can definitely tell you that it should...

So glad to have said something that resonated with you, Steve! This sounds great. Let us know what happens. It sounds like good news.

Welcome to the forum, bodees. Regarding time: When you've raised the issue, have you gone further than just describing your feelings and moved through to talks of change, as below? 1) Description = "I feel lonely in our relationship / I wish we had more time together / I feel that we don't get...

Hi Steve, I understand that you are going through a lot of torment right now. I know how that feels and I'm sorry you need to be in limbo for a while longer. Firstly, the fact that you have all put a time frame on this is GOOD. This isn't an endless zone - only three more weeks to go...

Hi booboofish, Full disclosure: I think you've said something important here. You have an internal boundary in which you don't don't necessarily want to share everything. It's also really important for your primary to respect his metamour's/rs' right to privacy. So, just because your primary...

Welcome booboofish, Interesting post! To me, there are two sides of the poly coin. Among many things, overcoming insecurity is on one side. On the other side, among many things, is learning patience, kindness, allowing yourself to let others hurt without hindering their growth by stopping your...