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Sigyn, I hear you. I understand what it's like to be messed around by a squirelly type, I understand trying to like and include someone who we perhaps wouldn't bond with in other circumstances, and I understand how it feels to experience vicarious negativity. There could be many things at...

Hi azorkanesbrat, With regards to the family time, as others have said, I'd just suggest that you talk about what commitments and responsibilities you have together and agree on a minimum? Like X amount of family days a week, X amount of dates with you per week, X amount of days spent in each...

Mikel, No, not crazy. Polyamory is not for everyone, just as monogamy and swinging isn't for everyone. Being polyamorous does not mean being more enlightened than anyone else. It's simply a different way of living life - no better or worse than any other. I would urge you to listen to your...

This puts you in a very difficult position for the next month. As others have said, this could be viewed as Plan A vs. Plan B boyfriend situation. However, I do think that sometimes things can be more complicated than that. What I would actually say is that it sounds like she isn't actually...

Hi zoltaz, and welcome. :) I personally don't have a problem with monogamy, poly, or any other type of relationship. It's about personal preference and is definitely about what makes you happy. There is no superiority in being poly. One mono person and one poly person could be equally as...

Tightropewalker, Firstly, what do you mean when you say your husband did everything he could to break you up? Secondly, what you you mean you suffered from his drama? If you just mean that your husband wasn't ready and was insecure and upset, do you think it's kind or fair to refer to those...

What on earth is he playing at? It sounds like it's time to have that brutally (or kindly) honest talk. I have a feeling he isn't going to like it - not because I think he's a bad guy, but because it sounds like this may be one of the first times you truly and completely assert yourself with...

I Just to highlight this. Like GG, I'm not seeing you guilting him here. I'm seeing him guilting you. Sounds like he drops it on you at the last minute? Could have more structure? Set nights per week? Or certain amount of notice?

All good advice here so far. Clearly your husband does love you and doesn't want to leave. Clearly you are miserable and don't want to leave. This is going to be long (sorry everyone). There is a difference between over-communicating your struggles and completely burying them. I have...

I'm curious why you ask, LovelyLady. I take it your husband's girlfriend has started calling him by a pet name you have for him? Or he's calling you both by the same pet name?

Ooooh, the Midwest. Enough said. ;) Haha. Seriously though, what you are saying is understandable. Since you live WITH your parents, I'm not surprised they've eventually had to meet C. It's very positive that you plan to tell them eventually once you've moved out, and that you will be able to...

Welcome back Invi, I remember your story from before. I'm glad you've both made some progress. Do you want that too? This is fair. This can happen. Sometimes the initial (especially online) meeting can go awry, and after that, we seem to pick out things to fuel the opinion we have started...

Hi Rachelina, What I'm hearing is that something needs to change, but you are all hesitant to make these major changes. I sincerely hope you use the links that Kevin provided to find yourselves a poly friendly therapist. This will be absolutely essential if you are all going to remain under...

Hi cuppycake, Reading your reasons for not wanting to divorce right now, I have to say I can see the merit of almost all of them. Others have pointed out - and even you have yourself - that marriage won't protect your actual relationship, and it's fair that you recognise that but still have...

Welcome back Hoyam, I had read your story from the beginning but never had a chance to post before. The fact of the matter is: you fell in love with your boyfriend and it became a game changer. Your husband tried, couldn't accept it, and you're now in counselling to see where you can go. You...

Hi Hecate, It's nice to hear that you do want D in your life, just as much as you want C in your life. May I ask - why did you refer to him as a friend to someone else, and why haven't you introduced him to your family? Is this because you are not openly poly and C happens to live near you...

What I meant here was whether you should consider removing the terms 'primary' and 'secondary' from your relationship, and just be in the relationship.

Welcome oyeoyvei! Ooh heck. Well, aren't you in a pickle? Usually, when it comes to 'having the poly talk', I just suggest forgetting about the fear, biting the bullet and getting it out there. This is a bit more tricky. It is not uncommon for poly people to have (written or unwritten)...

Hi devsfan, I'm sorry to hear you are going to a rough time. A couple of things stand out to me, to begin with. The first is: what is the gap between dating all of the women that you've mentioned in your post? Have you had any single time at all over the past few years - without any...

I had read your previous thread and I'm very sorry to hear things seem to be heading downhill. I truly do understand your upset. Unfortunately, we so often make promises to others that we shouldn't make. None of us really know how we are going to feel 6 months, 12 months or 6 years from now...