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And yet another story of a jealous girlfriend who wants two boyfriends all to herself (does the other guy/girl have other dating partners)? I have nothing against this, in fact, I think poly usually works best with a series of interconnected vees. But I dislike the idea of forced, closed...

If what Smiles meant, is that the OP is putting the husband where he has to make a choice, than yes. He should have to make a choice. Life is about choices. It's stinky to say, Choose between me and her. But it's perfectly fine to say, Either you meet my minimum standards or you don't. She...

Indeed. My friends are actually well-intentioned. They only want to protect me. The problem is I don't want to be protected. I'm tired of having people tell me what I want; I want them to trust me that I'm capable of deciding that for myself :)

Galagirl, Thanks :) My language was unclear; they have been very upfront that they don't like that he has a partner and I do. They tell me they don't like him; that he's just using me for sex; that I'm settling for less than I deserve. You're right, though, I need to be firm, but polite, and...

Poly is all about falling in love. Multiple loves. If you hate that part of it, what makes you even think you're poly?

Wanted to correct my earlier statement and couldn't. There are ways you can simulate many of the benefits of legal marriage. It's intense, but you can have two full-time, primary, "spouses" in your life.

Sorry, I'm unclear on what sort of relationship "that" is? Legal marriage?

Response @Redpanda, Absolutely, life does get in the way. I'd be happy for a new partner; but I just don't have the time right now. I'm actually glad I DON'T have someone; I'd probably just ruin my opportunity by not investing enough into it. @vanquish, I do think they think I'm being taken...

First of a number of issues that have been bothering me: Whenever I tell people my partner is poly, I say, "And his wife knows..." and they're kind of okay, and then "And she has a boyfriend." And they breathe a sigh of relief. Then they ask if I have another boyfriend (heteronormative...

"Boundaries you will set" can be a bit of a red flag that you aren't ready for polyamory. You're already realizing it can be hard to find that person who is compatible for your relationship. Putting unrealistic restrictions will repel a lot of women who might otherwise be a wonderful fit for...

Since you're going about this more open/swinging, than poly, my guess is, yeah, she's used to sharing sexual details (open and swinging relationships tend to be about the sex). Curious if it being just a sex thing bothers you, why do you insist he take off the wedding ring with her?

You're new to open relationships, so I'll try to be gentle. But these are serious red flags for me. The first is the first section I highlighted: You have an idea that you have to date "as a unit." This is totally untrue. While it's possible, many, many poly people date separately; while...

I know of situations with two guys and a girl. Also, with a guy and two bi girls (I'm assuming when you speak of a couple and a bi girl, that you would prefer the other woman to also be bi).

Are you all over your boyfriend, making out in public? If not, just smile sweetly and say it was a friend (if asked, most people won't actually confront you on this). Many poly people are quietly open, not denying, but not saying, either. Kind of a "Don't ask, don't tell" thing. Most...

Yep. Me. Successful, but mostly due to my partner's crazy ability to manage two, or more, marriage type relationships. I really know of few examples of that happening.... Edit: Oops, misread. I got the two mixed up; secondary to primary. Why would someone move from primary to secondary...

Second that. I tell someone as soon as I have interest, and they show interest back.

So, the questions I need answers to are: - How could I put Pink’s feelings about a potential future marriage to me one day in the future over an immediate need of Blue’s, a need that I am able to and happy to fill? - How can I reassure Pink that legal marriage to someone else won’t change how I...

Thanks for the compliment :) To answer your question, it's only unethical, imo, when you limit others. Say I'm married, but wish to date. I may not WANT to be a primary to my dating partner; primary relationships come with more responsibility and commitment (if you define a primary...

In fairness, if ONE person wishes to remain closeted, that makes it very difficult for the others to be open, without it compromising the closeted partner. If I chose to be open about who I was with, that would invariably "out" my other partners (it's a small world, there's always the chance of...

Honestly, I shy away from dating people that are not 1) Poly or 2) Openly poly friendly. Nothing wrong with that. But often people don't even KNOW what poly is, so perhaps it would be a good idea to look into dating people who are non-monogamous/respond positively if you tell them you're...