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I think the best thing to do is create a space for your girlfriend within your house; then, for all your sakes, find a place for her near you. And split your time, equally, between both houses. You may need to get your girlfriend a nanny to support her, since it's your wife whose decided she...

I understand many parents want to protect their children, but really, if you think about it, what are you protecting them from? It's not like your husband and her are going to have sex in front of them (assuming you and your husband don't do that, either). They'll just see the woman as another...

It sounds like you mostly want fun on the side. I'd go to the kink/swinging communities :) Or people in poly relationships who don't require much; probably already have other partners.

"In any case, in the time since, we have had an amazing "spring" if you will, and we can literally see walls crumbling between us. We have talked about ground rules, honesty and our committment to us as the primary relationship. We both are totally committed to the other person, and I do truly...

Hmmm, I can see points where you're in wrong and right. It's not cool for him to make you wait on him for dinner, and not bother to even text you about it. But he WAS making unrealistic plans on that. Maybe he's like me and guilty of overpromising? I'd suggest having a talk where he stops...

Not to take away from Dag's comment, but, for my sake, I walk away, not for someone better, but for my own sake. If the person I'm with is, in my assessment, fundamentally not aligned with who I am and what I want. I want us both to be working toward common goals, not struggling to tolerate...

I'm sorry you experienced this. But I totally meant this in a selfish, walk away for your own good, and don't feel guilty about leaving someone who isn't good for you, kind of way. Not in a, I'm doing this for you! kind of way.

Wholeheartedly second this! :)

Dagferi, Hmmm. I can't speak for people in general, but I would hope that one would give their partner the same consideration they want for themselves. And I get that sacrifice is usual. In my case, I don't actually sacrifice anything I consider core to myself; which includes the freedom to...

This is in response to many, many posts I have seen lately. Here and other places. I dislike the idea of "exploring poly." To me, that makes one's "polyness" a distant entity; like those people who talk about "protecting their marriage," not "protecting the woman I care about." It's not the...

Suck it up. They probably ARE trying to leave you out of things once in a while. That's okay; they should have alone time. Just like you and your wife should. Just like you and your girlfriend should. By the way, is it really "our" girlfriend; our is it "her" girlfriend; and you are tagging...

I've had extensive talks with my partner on this one, so feel free to PM me!

Control and misogyny. No. Lots of guys with OPP are okay with their wives/girlfriends dating other women. OPP is about insecurity.

This isn't about a OPP; I find it rather offensive, actually, that everyone ASSUMES she must want another penis. I do fine with just one; but my partner certainly doesn't require monogamy with me. I can be with whomever I choose; I just am more interested in women. Took a lot to sell me on...

I'm going to differ here. Can poly exist without sex? Of course. Can poly exist without romance? No. Unless you want to lump in all the monogamous, married but separated, types into "poly." And what about monogamous people who have affection for close friends? Unless "poly" means just...

Yeah, don't try to bring her other relationship into yours. It's kind of uncool to pry. Just work on building your own sex life with her.

"I'm a score keeper in that regard and one of our rules is no sex with others if we're not having sex, too." Score keeping is almost always a terrible idea, and that seems like an awful rule. I find rules are most often broken in polyamory when the rules are unreasonable. Your relationship...

Having a quad like that work is tough. Just because I'm attracted to Guy A, doesn't mean my partner is attracted to Guy A's girlfriend. Nor does it mean she is attracted to my partner. Is there no small part of you that is trying to force their relationship in order to make things easier for...

Why does everyone say that as if I'm asking them to date me or if I care whether they'd be poly or not? I wonder what they'd say to you if they said, "I'm going to the bathroom." And you said, "I'm not ready to pee yet."

The motorcycle analogy may be easier to process as symbolic (you have a literal symbol in the bike), but the friends or children analogy is also supposed to be symbolic. It's just most people take it literally, since they're closer in type, both affectionate relationships.