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Jealousy is observed in infants 6 months old. It's not a social construct in it's basic form. Social conditioning can shape the manifestation and expected reactions to it, but it exists as a documented emotional response...

I've thought about this aproach. I think it is better called "de-valuing" than desensitization though.

It sounds like he simply doesn't want a partner who shares themselves with someone else. He's given you the almost-possible-to-achieve situation because he knows it's almost impossible. It looks like a compromise, but he's probably just saying "No."

Reply to a fellow mono person about sex and sharing a partner when you give yourself to only one. "Your views on sex are the same as mine…or least were the same as mine. I compare it to when I collected comics. Value was associated with limited circulation copies. The more people who had the...

That's the spirit! I say fuck anyone who has a superiority complex and considers themselves to be a "poly authority". People with experience should provide guidance, not control or structure...screw away!

Great post Lilo...your as much a warrior of the heart as you are a loving person to everyone :) You honor all of us you share your life with. XOXOX I love you.

Redpepper making a difference! Last night Redpepper facilitated a workshop on mono/poly relationships. I wasn't originally going to attend but enjoy hanging out with her and supporting her when I can. She did an excellent job and people were genuinely touched and learned something I think. I...

I like it!

I'm not a huge fan of any "requirement" to get to know a metamour. I think as long as you are satisfied that there is full disclosire of the relationship with all partners involved, that should be enough. In the case of LDRs, you truly have to trust that everyone is being honest, but I don't...

With all the made up words around here I am surprised anyone would call a word silly at this point. Still if the word doesn't work for someone that is fine, but belittling it seems a bit hypocritical and elitist. Do only the cool kids get to make up words :rolleyes:

Polyfi has way too much gray area in the sense that 100 people could be in a Polyfi relationship of pansexual genders. The word monogamy has as much of a scale as polyamory in my opinion. "I want one female and one male partner. My partner wants the same. If we get together we are bi...

I'm good with the term - it leaves no gray area. I like no gray :rolleyes:

Bi-monogamous: a person who desires one male and one female partner; can be a applied to a couple where the relationship is open to both partners having one additional partner of the same gender.

I've been in a central MFM dynamic for over three years now. I think of my partner's husband as family and that's the way I refer to him. I don't use any fancy labels in his case :) Just get out there with the right crowd and socialize naturally - don't hunt for a perfect fit just let it...

Nice to have such a supportive metamour for the woman we love :)

Hang tough, baby. You guys are both going through something big. You will get through this. I hope Leo is OK, as well. Strange days, for sure. :( I love you.

I believe anyone can control themselves with enough discipline, but I don't think they should put themselves in that situation. I don't believe a poly person can be truly fulfilled suppressing that part of themselves that needs to share love, any more than a mono person can be truly fulfilled...

One other thing... If you are going to have a mono/poly relationship, hold off on getting married until you trial this by fire. He'll have to not only survive you having another partner, but also be healthy in it. Those are two very different things, and being healthy is not necessarily the most...

And this might give you some insight into how much harder being a monoamorous person married to a polyamorous person might be. In your case, he is your fiance, I believe. The same sort of feelings would emerge, potentially, though. Fear of possessiveness in a Mono/Poly Relationship

Hi Polykat, Some of the following thread may apply to your questions :) Inside the Mind of This Mono