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Monogamous animals don't adhere to belief systems...and they do exist therefore monogamy is natural and clearly predates religion and conditioning in my opinion. That being said, Monogamy is definitely a relationship ideal as well though, just like polyamory is both a nature and a belief system...

the simple signs of acceptance Since my suite flooded I have been basically living in the same space as RP and PN. They are wonderful and have really done a lot to make sure that I am comfortable and getting space. It's tricky for all of us, as we all need our privacy, but we are working as a...

WOW! What a great weekend away with pretty much our entire tribe. PN, RP, LB and I headed down to the poly camp just outside of Olympia. The venue was perfect, with a warm lake, lots of privacy and plenty of space for all. Derby and her family were there, as well as Geminigirl and some other...

I get accused of being a flirt all the time by Redpepper, in a humorous and playful way. I'm monogamous, so I feel completely safe in chatting with whoever, but I guess that could be seen as teasing, as opposed to flirting.

Poly in the North West Camp More to follow but this was the most relaxing camping trip ever! Nothing to do with poly for me, but they did an excellent job organizing this :D

now you can see pics of all of us...and my bike ;)

Another thing..she may see you as the reason for him "becoming" poly. That could cause a very big hurdle. And if she suspects an affair of a physical or emotional nature with you before his declaration of poly things will just be harder. Find out and deal with it.

I'm a long term mono secondary so I can't fully relate to his wife. Sage on here is a great source from her perspective though. That being said...have maximum patience. I know it is frustrating but you have to push yourself beyond the norm to give her space and let her find her way in this...

It seems to me that the person you were talking to approaches the fundamental aspects of monogamy and polyamory in a different way than I do. Both are valid but make understanding each other difficult. For me, monogamy and polyamory are no different than being gay or straight...they are products...

Some tough questions as there are some missing bits of information here. When they got married did her husband identify as poly already or has the nature of their relationship changed since you were added? How did you become introduced to their lives? This makes a difference in how to offer help...

Let her. She gave you an ultimatum...now let her deal with it.

Every macro community has micro communities. Some neighbors hang out on weekends and some don't. Some people play baseball with certain people and play cards with entirely different people. A community divide is only as real as our personal perceptions allows it to be.

Sorry you are going through this...both of you that is. I am also monogamous and believe I can fully appreciate what you are feeling. BUT...I have also been a cheater in the past so I can speak with some experience about your husbands behavior. He got busted...plain and simple, you caught him...

Been busy with the calendar site and my "real" job LOL! Just livin it I guess :D

That sums up my definition of poly...which is of course non-binding to anyone else. :D

I see a disproportionate number of people on disability it seems. But maybe I just look for it more because the community is so small.

Motorcycling....motorcycling....and more motorcycling. I'm pretty one dimensional ;)

Sorry to hear this Derby. That sucks ;(

Sounds like good advice to me. This woman has never been married or had kids (if she wants them of course). Essentially she hasn't had the full mono experience required to go on this type of journey in my opinion.

As a mono guy in a poly relationship I used to think there were specific benefits to having a poly partner. Things like more freedom to do hobbies or spend time on your own while your partner is away with another Love. I don't believe that any more. That has nothing to do with whether your...