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Yes and it never works well. Another thing you have to remember is that the minute you start questioning whether this is a desire or a need is when he gets to start questioning the same thing about you. Do you desire to be monogamous or do you need to be monogamous? Do you desire to only have...

It only takes one person to question authority. Obviously the ability to get that authority to change its mind and its rules requires a large segment of the population to rebel. The only way for new ideas to gain traction is to start with that one person who is willing to question the authority...

The authority has to earn its respect. If its rules no longer apply but yet it demands to hold on to them, then it is our duty to no longer respect that authority.

I'm sorry that you're going through this and I hope you don't take the following response the wrong way. Anything hurtful that you read from most of the people on here is not meant to be that way, we are just being frank and honest in trying to help you come to a solution. Are you being...

I think the reason why cheating is more accepted is because most of society believes that your lover loving someone else is considered disrespectful, a slap in the face, emasculating, and it makes you a chump if you accept it. Better to be kept in the dark by having your significant other...

Perfect analogy.

I highly doubt he enjoys it. I don't doubt he loves both women and now he finds himself in the unenviable position of the two of them fighting over him and making him feel like he has to dump one of them and causing drama. Yes he causes some of the drama but I have a hard time believing this...

I'm going to play devil's advocate. His wife just got finished bawling her eyes out on their anniversary about his relationship with this other woman and all of a sudden he gets a text claiming she's out of gas. Now he is already on edge from the drama and his gf interjects with a minor...

Long relationships with multiple kids destroy marriages all the time . 16 years is a long time and people change. Children make us forget about our romantic inclinations towards our spouses. Hours away at work combined with hours at home alone creates distance and separation. Sharing your life...

I know where you are coming from. Some realizations that you will do well to quickly learn before it is shoved on you. 1. your wife is a separate independent woman, no matter how long you have been married and how close you think you are to her and how special and magical your love my be, she...

Another thing to get through your head is that it is neither necessary or realistic for you to try to convince her of a triad scenario. A triad being where the three of you are romantically linked and love each other physically. I would simply suggest you tell her that your relationship with...

The skills necessary for successful and healthy Poly are hard won and more evolved. They are skills that are useful for ALL relationships. Is an Olympic level runner more evolved than my slow ass? I would say so.

Doesn't someone have the ability to delete these stupid advertising threads and ban the user?

I'm sorry to hear this turn of events. The bright side is that your husband is firm and decisive and knows what he wants. I know a lot of people here have portrayed him as a terrible person but I have been trying to look at it from his side. This development is so far outside of his plan for...

I love everything you say here. We think alike. Jealousy, when leveled towards a loved one, is a destructive unhealthy emotion that hurts everyone. Religion and society I believe understand this, but instead of teaching people that it's something that should be controlled and tempered, they...

The problem is that you feel he should share the details about their relationship with you. Is it not sufficient to know that he loves her and understand that with that love, all the other things associated with love will follow? Their relationship involves him and her, as a result some things...

Nothing says you have to feel OK with knowing the details of their love life. You have inadvertently stepped over a boundary that you weren't aware existed. You'll just need to move on and deal with it. It's like walking in on your parents having sex. Everyone supports and enjoys the...

I think a more important question to ask pertains to the song "I would do anything for love... but I won't do that" by meatloaf. I wonder if he was singing about poly and how he is a monogamist at heart. One thing that we have to understand and remember is how far on the fringe most of us are...

The trap of traditional monogamy goes something like this. They pin the responsibility of destroying the relationship on the person with the wandering eyes and heart, however what really destroys the relationship is the childish selfish response from the angry jealous partner. Imagine those...

Yours is an all too common story. It is very typical for men to approach an open relationship from a swinging standpoint and for the women to be more interested in the emotions and connections. It is also all too common for partners to require to be involved in all sexual situations rather than...