Hi everyone. I'n new here and I recognize that my point of view isn't, necessarily, going to be the most popular. I also know that many of you are going to see my situation as "insignificant" in the grand scheme of things. But rest assured that this is a very real, and difficult situation for me. I only ask that those who reply are respectful, as I will make every effort to reciprocate that respect.
My wife and I have been married for 16 years. We have 3 wonderful children, and a fantastic relationship. However, a few days ago, she revealed to me that she considers herself poly, and has a deep emotional connection with 5 other people. She even went so far as to say she loves them. Of the five, two of them live locally to us, and three live out of state. Three of them are women, and two of them are men. The two that live locally to us (both women), she has not expressed her feeling to them. One other, she said that she began to tell, but the conversation never fully allowed for her to completely get it out. And the final two, are people from an online role playing chat (like vampires,werewolves, etc..) that neither of us have meet in person.
She assured me that she hasn't slept with anyone, nor does she feel that she's at that point of wanting to yet. And yes, I do believe her. She also tells me that she will never sleep with anyone else as long as I'm not comfortable with it, even if she ever does feel that any of these relationships progress to that desire. Again, I believe her there too.
I told her that I can say, with absolute certainty, that I will never be comfortable with her sleeping with another person. And while some of you might think that I'm not being reasonable, or rational, I know my line in the sand in that regard. And please do not try & persuade me otherwise.
Personally, I view sex with someone that I love as deeply as I do, as something very personal between us. The mental image of her and another man OR woman, creates a lump in my stomach. It's just too painful of a thought to bear.
But just as importantly, is the emotional aspect. I know that I can only speak for myself personally, but I have never felt such a strong emotional bond with anyone besides my wife. And it hurts deeply to think that there could be anyone else that she feels even closely to that feeling to (aside from maybe her Mom, but I'm really not talking about that kind of love).
I will get deeper into detail as this thread progresses. Any questions? Feel free to ask.
My wife and I have been married for 16 years. We have 3 wonderful children, and a fantastic relationship. However, a few days ago, she revealed to me that she considers herself poly, and has a deep emotional connection with 5 other people. She even went so far as to say she loves them. Of the five, two of them live locally to us, and three live out of state. Three of them are women, and two of them are men. The two that live locally to us (both women), she has not expressed her feeling to them. One other, she said that she began to tell, but the conversation never fully allowed for her to completely get it out. And the final two, are people from an online role playing chat (like vampires,werewolves, etc..) that neither of us have meet in person.
She assured me that she hasn't slept with anyone, nor does she feel that she's at that point of wanting to yet. And yes, I do believe her. She also tells me that she will never sleep with anyone else as long as I'm not comfortable with it, even if she ever does feel that any of these relationships progress to that desire. Again, I believe her there too.
I told her that I can say, with absolute certainty, that I will never be comfortable with her sleeping with another person. And while some of you might think that I'm not being reasonable, or rational, I know my line in the sand in that regard. And please do not try & persuade me otherwise.
Personally, I view sex with someone that I love as deeply as I do, as something very personal between us. The mental image of her and another man OR woman, creates a lump in my stomach. It's just too painful of a thought to bear.
But just as importantly, is the emotional aspect. I know that I can only speak for myself personally, but I have never felt such a strong emotional bond with anyone besides my wife. And it hurts deeply to think that there could be anyone else that she feels even closely to that feeling to (aside from maybe her Mom, but I'm really not talking about that kind of love).
I will get deeper into detail as this thread progresses. Any questions? Feel free to ask.