Thank you everyone. I am going to re-read the posts and comment on the specifics at another time. Lately, too much focusing on this is bringing on anxiety fits. However, to say something of substance, I must say that, up until lately, our marriage really has been good. We had been getting along really well, and romance, sex, communication, etc.. were really good.
We've been avoiding the topic like the plague at home for the last couple of days. Although, little nuggets slip out. Usually, she sees it on my face and asks me if I'm okay... I tell her that I'll be fine, and that I'm just trying to keep myself calm & rational, while it does still bother me, but we don't need to talk about it right now. I mentioned beginning therapy, and she seemed glad. I told her that I've been trying to keep focused on the positive aspects that I've been told. But I also told her that I'm still anxious about this and it's going to take some time for it to subside, even if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I mentioned my dream about seeing her kissing one of them, and she assured me that that was not going to happen. All in all, she'd telling me that I have nothing to worry about.
I never used to mind the large amounts of time online. Granted, it bothered me at times with it interfering with our time in the evenings, or one weekends, but I assumed this to be more innocent that it turned out to be - so hindsight being what it is, I started connecting the dots. And maybe that's my fault. Maybe I neglected her to a degree that I never realized. I certainly didn't mean to, and would bend over backwards to fix that on my end.
I spoke with one of the guys on the phone yesterday. Walked away not being sure if it helped or not. But I asked him his intentions, and he also assured me that nothing is going to happen. He told me that in the conversations that they have, she makes it very clear how much she loves me. Granted, he could have been just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, and I'm certainly not ruling that out completely. But I'm also doing my very best to take him at his word. I know that nothing (at least physical) has happened, and they both tell me that nothing non-consensual would ever happen. So no permanent damage has been done so far.
I'm trying to look at this from a practical angle. Because, emotionally, I seem to be just exacerbating every thing. I really would like to believe that most of what I'm feeling is all in my head.
We've been avoiding the topic like the plague at home for the last couple of days. Although, little nuggets slip out. Usually, she sees it on my face and asks me if I'm okay... I tell her that I'll be fine, and that I'm just trying to keep myself calm & rational, while it does still bother me, but we don't need to talk about it right now. I mentioned beginning therapy, and she seemed glad. I told her that I've been trying to keep focused on the positive aspects that I've been told. But I also told her that I'm still anxious about this and it's going to take some time for it to subside, even if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I mentioned my dream about seeing her kissing one of them, and she assured me that that was not going to happen. All in all, she'd telling me that I have nothing to worry about.
I never used to mind the large amounts of time online. Granted, it bothered me at times with it interfering with our time in the evenings, or one weekends, but I assumed this to be more innocent that it turned out to be - so hindsight being what it is, I started connecting the dots. And maybe that's my fault. Maybe I neglected her to a degree that I never realized. I certainly didn't mean to, and would bend over backwards to fix that on my end.
I spoke with one of the guys on the phone yesterday. Walked away not being sure if it helped or not. But I asked him his intentions, and he also assured me that nothing is going to happen. He told me that in the conversations that they have, she makes it very clear how much she loves me. Granted, he could have been just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, and I'm certainly not ruling that out completely. But I'm also doing my very best to take him at his word. I know that nothing (at least physical) has happened, and they both tell me that nothing non-consensual would ever happen. So no permanent damage has been done so far.
I'm trying to look at this from a practical angle. Because, emotionally, I seem to be just exacerbating every thing. I really would like to believe that most of what I'm feeling is all in my head.
