Search results

Yeah, devoting less time and energy to a relationship may be a benefit to some people. For me personally, while I'm nonhierarchical/solo poly, I don't really want secondary-style relationships. I'd like to treat all my relationships like primary ones - seeing each other once or twice a week...

I would recommend Plura if it's available in your city. It's both an event and dating app, geared towards ENM and kink. You can attend ENM events and match with people on the guest list (as well as around the app), and you are shown several new profiles per day.

The benefits you listed are all the ones I could think of for having less entangled or serious relationships, as are typically the case with secondaries. I couldn't think of any that were exclusive to being a secondary that wouldn't also be present in nonhierarchical polyamory. Tinwen...

That's one of the articles I saved in my research. It sounds like you're saying being a secondary is beneficial for those who like independence and not a lot of time commitment or life entanglement. However, it's possible to have relationships like that in nonhierarchical polyamory, too. I'm...

I've been doing a lot of research into hierarchical polyamory lately, mainly to try to figure out if I would be willing to date hierarchical poly people or stick to nonhierarchical people like myself. I've uncovered some reasons why people structure their relationships hierarchically, and why...

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds like she didn't really give you the option to say no to being in an open relationship if you said no repeatedly but only said yes after she begged and pleaded. Situations like this are often referred to as "poly under duress" and are regarded as...

That makes sense. Thank you for clarifying.

I have been in two monogamous relationships that opened up to polyamory, and in both cases we were not making the relationship less serious. Also, I have been in one polyamorous relationship that was open from the start, and that relationship was not less serious than my mono ones. In your...

Thank you for letting me know, and I'm sorry that my comment came across as harsh. My intention was to look out for someone who I feared was on the receiving end of mistreatment, but I'll be more mindful of my phrasing in the future. I'm a little confused by the rule though. At what point is...

You and your husband are in a monogamous marriage, but he's "opened his heart to another woman and loves her"? Because that would be cheating. It also sounds like he expects you to date this woman as well; is that correct?

Thank you for your kind words, Kevin! I have done a lot of research; I consider non-monogamy to be one of my special interests.

Relationship anarchy is a relationship philosophy that rejects hierarchy and societally prescribed rules in relationships. It also opposes amatonormativity by positing that romantic or sexual relationships are not naturally more important than platonic friendships. When I say single, I mean...

The key word being "inherent." Opening up a relationship does not necessarily (or usually) mean making the relationship more casual. The point I'm trying to make is that a casual connection is different from being in an ENM relationship. ENM relationships are not inherently less casual than...

Opening a relationship has no inherent effect on how casual or serious the relationship is. It's a common misconception among monogamous people that monogamous means serious, and ENM/poly means casual. In reality, ENM/poly relationships can and are every bit as serious as monogamous ones...

Thank you for sharing your story! Solo poly is actually different from being single and poly, though that's a common misconception. Solo poly typically refers to people who don't wish to climb the relationship escalator, so no cohabitation, merged finances, marriage, or having children. Solo...

I like Multiamory's 2-part episode on 50 ways to handle jealousy: You say your wife feels tugged between two worlds. How familiar is she with the concept of hingeing? It that a skill she's actively working on cultivating?

Hi! I discovered this forum because I've been doing a lot of Googling of polyamory lately (mostly on hierarchy) and I kept getting linked to this site. I'm 32, female, bisexual, and I live in southern California. I'm currently single. I identify with nonhierarchical poly, solo poly, and...

A throuple is another name for a triad, in which three people are all in a relationship with each other. It sounds like you're just looking for a partner for one of you though?