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You know that "polyamory" means "many loves" rather than "many casual sex partners", right? That means your poly GF developing boyfriend/girlfriend relationships with other poly people is usually the aim. I'm a little surprised that someone with "far more experience being poly" was willing...

The term does cover a lot of different arrangements, which is why you need to base your poly relationships on explicit agreements; otherwise you may all be working from different assumptions. Don't assume that because "I should be invited to watch by default" seems reasonable to you that it will...

You can ask for anything you want, but be aware that the answer you receive may be "No". Edit because I'm sure that by "is it too much to ask?", you mean "tell me It's reasonable to expect": No, if it hasn't been discussed and freely agreed to, it is not reasonable to expect that your GF will...

That depends upon the agreements you have in place with your SO. If you want to prevent her from taking lovers without your explicit individual consent then you can tell her that. She, in turn, can either agree or tell you to take a hike. There's no official "right way" written down in a rule...

He's probably doing what many people do and confusing boundaries with rules. Ask him about something ridiculous, then once he realises that there are things he wouldn't stick around for he can start thinking about it. New Guy (NG): I have no boundaries. You: Ok, so if I lock you in the...

That's either not true or not healthy. Everyone has boundaries, so saying he has none just means he hasn't thought them through and that the only way you'll find them is by accidentally trampling all over them later down the track.

Just make sure you let them know your situation before they become at all emotionally invested; to do otherwise is an unethical bait 'n switch.

At DeepBlue's request I've moved a large chunk of the posts regarding her situation from here to her blog thread. If I've moved one of your posts and you believe it should remain where it was or see one I've missed, please flag it using the "report post" icon at the top right and I'll move it...

At DeepBlue's request I've moved a large chunk of the posts regarding her situation here from the relationship repair quiz thread. If I've moved one of your posts which you believe should remain where it was, please flag it using the "report post" icon at the top right and I'll move it back.

In that time they have never once spoken to each other?

I don't think anyone is trying to "run you out", but this may not be the most logical place to ask your questions. Polyamory is, by definition, about relationships that include love. You have definitively excluded the possibility of love from what you're talking about, so your audience isn't...

Why do you assume a starting point of three people? That's a preconceived notion right there.

Good. If you turn up to a poly meeting expecting everyone to go home with someone new at the end of the night (true story; people have strange ideas about poly) then you're going to be disappointed. My local social meetup felt like more of a catch-up for an extended group of friends than...

Poly doesn't require you to BYO partner as a price of admission; you may be confusing it with swinging in that sense. That said, if you're only looking for sex rather than a relationship which might include sex once you get to know each other, then a poly group is probably not the place to do...

There is no such thing as a textbook example of a poly relationship, so trying to do it "right" based on anything other than what works for you is potentially wasted effort. Sure, look at what does and doesn't work for others, but adapt it to your own circumstances. What objective value does...

That would be an agreement. Edit: in any case, be it a rule, agreement, or boundary, there is (short of locking him up for 24 hours a day) absolutely no way for Alice to prevent Bob eating apples if Bob so chooses. If he's breaking a rule or agreement Bob might feel a twinge of guilt as he...

Nitpick: Shaya, you're confusing boundaries with rules. Rules attempt to control the behaviour of others, e.g. "You are not allowed to eat apples". Boundaries are about how you will react to a situation, e.g. "I won't be in a room with someone eating apples, so I'm going home now". You can only...

I think at least half of the women who post here are straight.

Depends; would I have to start telling you all the details about my other relationships?

I have always assumed a base level of politeness, which includes not broadcasting personal information to uninvolved third parties. Since joining this forum I have come to discover that many people (usually in marriage-style relationships) don't share my view on what I consider to be a very...