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  1. Inaniel

    Increased interest in my wife after time with another woman, whats that called?

    I experience it… I think of it as missing my partners. Similar to when I travel alone for work, there is usually a period of re-connection upon returning home, where we give one another a bit more attention than usual. Maybe what you are experiencing is a result of placing energy in another...
  2. Inaniel

    Buy the ticket, take the ride.

    Sometimes it doesn’t make sense to me. Daisy not wanting to date and all… Then I dip my toes in the dating pool myself and I remember... Dating sucks. I think I envy Daisy.. The way she chooses not to distract herself with other relationships and focusing on herself in other ways. She is...
  3. Inaniel

    Mono/Poly - is it safe to say all the hard work falls on the mono?

    I say to skip the postnup and dissolve the contract outright... I can attest, as someone who recently dissolved a marriage contract with an existing partner; going through the process while still in love, with the communication and empathy benefits that come with that... It is more valuable in...
  4. Inaniel

    Mono/Poly - is it safe to say all the hard work falls on the mono?

    In consideration of your statement. Yes. I would encourage to dig deep, find that self-worth hiding deep down, and muster up the courage to stand up for yourself…
  5. Inaniel

    Mono/Poly - is it safe to say all the hard work falls on the mono?

    You are using the word “faithful” in the context of a monogamous arrangement and applying that context to an open arrangement. That doesn’t make sense to me. Poly people are just as capable of being faithful to agreements as any other person…
  6. Inaniel

    Mono/Poly - is it safe to say all the hard work falls on the mono?

    I have a mono partner and the poly part of the relationship doesn’t seem like hardly any work for her. Lately she has even helped me take pics for an online profile and comes out with me to have drinks and flirty banter with other women. Doesn’t appear to affect her at all… With that said, she...
  7. Inaniel

    Is polyamory worth it

    No. Definitely not. And threesomes? Yuk.. I mean the other night when I was making out with one person while getting a blowjob from another… All I could think about is how much my life sucks. It is best forget about all that poly stuff. Ask your wife to swaddle you in a nice warm blanket and...
  8. Inaniel

    Revoking of consent

    I think this is important enough of an issue to give it priority above the advice of internet strangers and seek out a counselor/therapist who can help you manage your feelings and relationships.
  9. Inaniel

    Bounderies crossed - advice sought

    I don’t see the point in asking someone how they would feel if the tables were turned. Speculation about alternative realities can be entertaining conversation but really don’t have a lot of meaning in my opinion. Because the core of the conversation is a speculation. And what if she...
  10. Inaniel

    Help re: Partner broke agreements/cheated with my close friend.

    The people in your life are the ones breaking agreements. We are just a mirror reflecting your situation back at you in a new light. If agreements are not being kept in your relationships, those agreements do not make sense in your relationships. What can you do at that point? Change the...
  11. Inaniel

    Help re: Partner broke agreements/cheated with my close friend.

    I would challenge the narrative that you can trust them to be in your life so long as they don’t have sex together. What’s to stop your husband from doing the same thing with a new friend? You can ponder whether you trust either of them enough to continue associating with them as...
  12. Inaniel

    Needing help with a poly marriage

    Things are different now. When you made your original agreements neither of you had experienced NRE in 10yrs. You were ignorant to the emotional forces awaiting in a poly agreement. Though your wife is currently cheating on you, she deserves grace in the fact that she approached original...
  13. Inaniel

    Does marriage affect autonomy in Polyamory?

    I don't see how marriage could not be an escalation in the direction of entanglement. And I don't see how entanglement can not result in a net decrease of personal autonomy in one form or another. Autonomy is a word that gets thrown around a lot but I cant ever figure out what sort of...
  14. Inaniel

    Poly or low swlf esteem

    When I say that I am poly, I do not see it as defining a part of who I am necessarily. Poly for me is a structure useful in my personal desires and pursuit of happiness. In a theoretical society where I have no freedom to pursue polyamory; with enough indoctrination, fear, and shame, I'm sure I...
  15. Inaniel

    Will Smith, Jade Pinkett Smith, and the slap at the Oscars

    Contextually, Will Smith never inferred enthusiastic consent, ENM, or polyamory either. I think they were facing a scandal of sorts (professionally, in the eyes of the masses) and if they are poly they specifically decided to make the public conversations as mono-relatable as possible. In the...
  16. Inaniel

    Poly or low swlf esteem

    Maybe he thinks your polyamroy and the amount of attention and affection you need is a result of your low self esteem... It's not nice to judge people and everyone gets to be poly for their own reasons.
  17. Inaniel

    Will Smith, Jade Pinkett Smith, and the slap at the Oscars

    I think they should have come out full stop or kept their mouth shut about the whole thing and let the masses wallow in cognitive dissonance. The issue as I see it relates to the red table conversation. They disclosed just enough for poly people to look up to them as representatives of poly...
  18. Inaniel

    Possible polyamory situation? (Long one!)

    Did this person do something to deserve such disrespect? Or are you just incapable of seeing beyond yourself? Relaying messages through your wife now that this person has cut you off is stalking behavior. I find that concerning... Your wife did not specifically consent to this emotional...
  19. Inaniel

    Is their fight my business?

    Stay out of it.
  20. Inaniel

    Broke a bit of a boundary, need advice ?

    In my home: three adults, three bedrooms. Would not have it any other way.
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