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  1. J

    Who thinks dating apps/sites are a bust?

    Back in the day OKC was at least a fun place to be. Haven't been there in a while though (since it changed, I bet). Signed up for a few apps for a while but it felt like a chore, like job-hunting. I think meeting "in the wild" is ideal, but it requires leaving my house! (Still...never know...
  2. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Poking around my old entries, I realize that there are plenty of loose ends I have left dangling (if I ever get around to writing that memoir...). To clean up one: the Waif situation ended in tragedy (as so often happens), during one of her returns to her abuser's house she "fell" down the...
  3. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Well, it has been a bit of time hasn't it...? Life, the world, everything...just whirling away...all the time. So much happens, so many rabbits to chase down so many holes! My poly self just keeps floundering along doing the daily things, experiencing life as it happens...working, teaching...
  4. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    No worries :) Glad you are enjoying it. I've been thinking that as we are coming out of the pandemic-haze and I am approaching my retirement horizon and entering a new decade of my life (having recently turned 50 :cool: ) that maybe I should try again to be more social...but it always feels...
  5. J

    Poly 2.0 - forming a household

    Hells yes! Mine as well! See, we can talk and type and set things up just so right..check every box...do this/don't do that.... And then life......HAPPENS!!!! And we are talking about people, individuals, unique and beautiful - and messy and not-perfect and frustrated. Because that is what...
  6. J

    Poly 2.0 - forming a household

    I went poking around to find some threads where I remember we had some lively conversations about this. If you use the search feature, you can find discussions about housing, economics, etc. I know we have had some good ones. If you find something that you would like to talk about further you...
  7. J

    Poly 2.0 - forming a household

    I have talked about that sort of thing a fair amount in my Journey Blog here. Reading through older blogs may give you some ideas of what we have discussed over the years. Glad to have you in the conversations! JaneQ
  8. J

    Confused and hurt

    If you read through the posts and blogs here you will soon see that what you are struggling with is a very common scenario. A couple wants to find a woman to share, and then things go sideways. With limited info, I will be making assumptions, some of which will undoubtedly be wrong You may...
  9. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Specifically NOT an obstetrician. However you are absolutely correct about the rest. More accurately I should say "I attend deliveries." But that didn't flow, in a literary way, with the whole "babies" pathos of that post. "I attend the delivery of babies" sounds forced. Perhaps, "I catch...
  10. J

    Allosexual husband of an asexual wife explores options

    I agree. (Which is why I stopped responding there - sorry SpMd) As Mags said, the blogs are more protected - some people don't want others posting in what they are using as an open journal, others (like me) are happy with thoughful commentary. Fogul (correct me if I am wrong) seems to be ok...
  11. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Sex for Procreation Biology, sex, reproduction - take all of the brain out of it, our bodies have evolved in ways that are successful, at the population level, in encouraging procreation - egg meets sperm, implants in uterus, new human - the biological drives DON'T know anything about...
  12. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    As usual...I was replying to a post elsewhere and got tangential. So I moved my musings here: Re: Gender I get that other people don't feel the same way that I do about my sex/gender (which is largely indifferent most of the time). I was born into a female-shaped body with hormones and...
  13. J

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I'm sorry that you have all of these frustrating tiresome things going on - it sounds exhausting. And there is a lot of things that you DON't have control over - namely things going on inside other peoples' heads, cancer cells multiplying, etc. I'd like to be able to tell you that things won't...
  14. J

    Compersion Stories?

    Compersion for me occurs when I either know and like my partner's partner or I can tell that the relationship is healthy and brings more happiness into my partner's life. If there is drama or I can't see what they see in the person then I give myself space and focus on my own stuff. I can make...
  15. J

    Events/holidays in a parallel poly relationship

    This is not specific to poly - blended families, families with partnered adult siblings. Be flexible and realize that you are not obligated to attend every event you are invited to. For instance, I don't go to weddings, funerals, baby showers, bridal showers etc., for anyone other than my...
  16. J

    FWBs with someone in an open relationship

    My arrangement with MrClean fits the bill from my end. Sexual friendship, not deeply involved. We usually schedule last minute because I have a break in my day and he lives near where I work. MrClean and I don't text as often as you and your FWB do, but we see each other a bit more. I am the...
  17. J

    Devon GB

    Hello from the (currently cold and snowy, but previously sunny and warm) northeast! Welcome to the forum! I was fortunate in knowing poly/ENM was an option from the beginning (thanks to Heinlein), even though I am older than you, but that didn't always mean smooth sailing. OTOH, I never...
  18. J

    Sex advice for weight/mobility issues

    Great question! I am small and pretty short so straddling anyone other than my slender husband is a challenge because my knees don't hit the bed(floor, whatever). I am, however, very flexible. One of my fav positions is a bit hard to describe - we call it the "Lazy JaneQ" (maybe I should...
  19. J

    Are you into Relationship Collage or Relationship Complete?

    Collage. I am complete unto myself. I do not seek out people to fill "gaps". I accept people into my life that complement and add depth and texture to my life experience in mutually compatable ways. My needs are few. I am abundantly fortunate in that my relationships with others (friends...
  20. J

    Question for those in a monogamous relationship when ENM was first floated as an idea

    Why does she have to be unattached? (You aren't.) What if she is also "too much" for her partner(s) and needs more?
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