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You've gotten a lot of good information and discussion going in this thread. :) I just wanted to add my two cents about this bit... Some backstory (full story is in my Journey blog here): My early history with my ex-Dude had some not-so-ethical elements to it of which damaged MrS's trust in me...

So, tonight MrS, MrClean, and I went to dinner and a concert - our first outing all together since our new arrangement. I was perfectly comfortable being on a "double-date" with both boys (to be fair, I have had a lot of practice with MrS and Dude). MrS was fine with my level of flirty/PDA...

While poly, like swinging, is a subset of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) I think that some of the disconnect you are feeling here may be that swinging type of agreements tend to be very couple-centric and so the idea of "sharing" personal info with your partner is more expected/accepted. Many (not...

So...when your FWB(/not-quite-boyfriend) buys you a vibrator and a "G-spot stimulator" (whatever THAT turns out to be) to keep at his place does that mean he a.) thinks we are on a "relationship escalator" or that, or b.) is really thoughtful? I think it is the latter - a week or two ago I...

JaneQ Over-Thinking: Words Matter So, the last time I visited MrClean (as planned, this occurs about once a week for an hour or so when neither of us have outside obligations, generally during business hours) he used the term "girlfriend" twice. First as part of a lame dad-joke and then, a...

My nesting partner, MrS, and I are rarely sexual - he is rather grey-Ace. This is, however, HIS choice. I am willing to be exactly as sexual with him as he wishes to be with me - when I am getting my sexual needs met, to some extent, elsewhere. I will say that it can be difficult being the...

I agree! Pet rats are awesome and a good one for kids - small enough to be held, big enough to be sturdy, interactive and they don't tend to poop on you. We had pet mice as kids but then I took care of a friend's rat for a few months while they were travelling and was converted. I had a pet...

Short version - I am loving sex with MrClean but worried that I am impeding him from ultimate happiness in terms of finding what he is looking for but trying to believe that he is a grown-ass man responsible for his own decisions. (BUT, we are both "over-thinkers" who don't want to hurt anyone...)

Fuck - I wrote a whole thing and lost it trying to save it...I guess it was meant to be introspective by the universe?

Hello and welcome! Mono-poly relationships are a thing - it is not unreasonable, BUT I would want to be super-clear about any agreements that the poly partner has made with their mono spouse. If mono-spouse is unaware of the poly relationships then that is plain old cheating - which is not...

Glad you didn't make the trek here - weather was miserable mix of wet snow, ice balls, sleet and rain blown around by random gusts of cold wind. Tomorrow doesn't look to be much better. MrS is a huge fan of zoos and aquariums so we hit them whenever possible when we travel but he never tires...

Labels...how to use them...hmm? I learned some new ones today: demiromantic (which I can definitely ID with!) and scoliosexual (which may be the other end of a spectrum that I have been seeking to understand!) There are plenty of articles about how people who ID as "bi" are questionably...

Hello and Welcome to the Forum! (I see that Kevin has already been by to great you - Hi, Kevin!) Just to clarify my perspective: In my marriage I am the poly one, they are...poly-flexible? monogamish? (They are also grey-Ace) He was MY first relationship ever (I have had other, concurrent...

Hello and Welcome, happy to have you! I'm sorry - but I immediately went to Tom Lehrer's When You Are Old and Grey ...;) I have ID'd as poly since before I met MrS - but in the early days this was only expressed with other women (both because I was interested in exploring that side of my...

We have a "rule" - no sex in the bed if someone else is trying to SLEEP IN IT! (see blog for details - we only have one bed). Note: this rule has been broken a number of times, by different folx, you get over it... MrS does not appreciate accidentally coming across sex that he is not aware of...

Hello and welcome! For almost 10 years I was the hinge of a co-habitating MFM poly Vee. Then it went nuclear (not really due to poly, but mental health issues). BUT, I learned a lot and enjoyed so many things about my chosen family. You may want to check out BlueBird's blog - she has even...

The HBB (Hot-Bi-Babe) is, I believe, a Unicorn in either circle. (Hot-Bi-Guys are not as in-demand - I call them MANticores - but that has never caught on...) The main point being, at least in poly, that she is a mythical beast - that does not actually exist, in the sense that no ONE person can...

Hello and welcome! Glad to have you in the neighborhood! (Both the forum and the PGH area!) I, also, like to keep my options open - in SO many areas of my life.

Not in your area but I (47 bi-poly-female) and my husband (49 hetero-polyfriendly-male), married 25+ years started out in a similar situation many moons ago. Someone, at some point, is going to point out that you are Unicorn-Hunting and direct you to this article (so it might as well be me...)...