Search results

Messy lists also get talked about without their context... why they actually exist. And, like most other agreements where you're asking a partner to restrict their behaviour, that's a question worth pondering.

What does “special” mean to you, and why is it important?

Yeah... proposing that any particular relationship structure is somehow inherently related to a path to enlightenment makes my eyes roll too hard to finish reading, so, I didn't.

I like this question a lot, and I like this tool (via the polyamory subreddit) for exploring it: The Non-Escalator Relationship Menu Being explicit about what you each want your relationships to look like can cut through a lot of confusion and unspoken assumptions.

Reading back over my previous posts, there was this (about Juniper). I was talking with Maple about this today, and we agreed part of this feeling is a certain amount of "masking" she and I both end up doing in some situations, especially with neurotypical people. I hadn't really thought of it...

Confirmed: my last post from the 26th of November said almost the exact same thing as above. Heh, I'm fine with that: it's nice to see my life actually fucking stabilizing for the first time in a year... 😆

Blogs are for subtweeting*. 😏 But as for an update: I'm still dating Maple, and it's still super great. Our brains work the same way, we have really compatible alignment about what we want right now, which is seeing each other about once a week, sometimes spending a weekend together but not...

Ok, well, that was both a reflection on personal relationships AND an incoherent diatribe. Reference acknowledged. 😆

...I gotta up my game in here. I've just been posting occasional reflections on my personal relationships, when I could be posting incoherent diatribes. 👀

Yeah, totally. But you know what responsible adults can do? They can abide by the commitments they made, like the monogamous commitment to not act on those feelings of attraction. I'm not here to say whether polyamory is or is not an "identity" in the same way as sexual orientation or gender...

This is not a reasonable way for an adult to behave. How obnoxious! Indeed, Sue and Vic sound like perhaps they take a lot more than they give.

I want to send a big virtual box of support and sympathy to anyone whose partner wants to move their new person in, and after only a few months. For starters, moving in with someone after that short a period is a bad idea. I feel no need to qualify that sentence. I'm ready for you, person for...

Did some travel this month, and was thinking of visiting a friend overseas in December. This friend is a person with whom, given the opportunity, I might be more than just friends, but time will tell. Bottom line is, I realized I didn't really want to take another trip a mere 4 weeks after my...

The only thing I'd correct in this statement is replacing "codependency" with, let's say... "entanglement", maybe? Codependency is, I believe, a specific structure in which A is dependent on B, and B (consciously or not) behaves in a way that reinforces A's dependency. That reinforcement is...

Dating apps can work just fine, but for your own wellbeing you've got to approach them with a lack of attachment. In this case, instead of browbeating yourself for being a "simp" (whatever that means, I assume it's a Gen Z thing 😜), consider: you've literally never met this person, you don't...

Yeah, this part in particular strikes me as awfully naive. (Or, perhaps more likely, he's enjoying his other relationship so much he doesn't care to be bothered with problems in this one.)

Has "slow down to her pace" been articulated? Is there a timeline after which you'll start dating (or discuss starting to date)? Here's why I ask: it sounds like you've both agreed in principle to open your relationship and date other people. She isn't ready for either of you to do that yet...

Does this mean you're looking to date as a couple, or does she want to wait longer before either of you pursue your own, independent relationships?

I want to give an "on the other hand" perspective to this. My admittedly extremely-parallel-poly attitude is, if I start dating someone, I don't want or need to know what agreements they have with their other partners. So I can't possibly evaluate whether those agreements are "couple's...

In fairness to Pumpkin, if you're asking her some version of "how do you feel?", that's a pretty vague question, so it's not surprising you'd get vague answers. What else is she supposed to say? 🙂 Perhaps you are overthinking. What is your intention in asking Pumpkin how she feels — and asking...