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GreenAcres, is there somewhere we can look up a formal definition and how-to guide for the type of "radical honesty" you're describing? Without instructions, I don't know how anyone could be expected to follow your advice to do "radical honesty" and not blurt out everything in their head, since...

Depends what you mean by "intimacy." If you mean that feeling of connectedness, then probably not. If you mean it as a synonym for "sex" then of course you can. My husband and I felt an instant connection when we met, but we explicitly decided to wait for sex for a month while we developed the...

This. Women may have an easier time finding random fuck buddies, but that's not what someone's looking for when they're building a poly network. They want relationships, and men who are out there looking for relationships, and not just sex, are just as likely to run away from a married woman as...

Yeah, because most people who stay here for a long time are in healthy, loving relationships, and recognize unhealthy behaviours and recognize when those behaviours are likely to change and when they're likely to continue. This isn't a "likely to change" situation, and some behaviour just...

Look guys, people have to see for themselves when they're in abusive relationships. She's obviously not ready for that yet, so there's nothing we can suggest. It's classic abusive behaviour to oscillate between loving & supportive, and then pulling despicable shit. He's got her 100%...

Depends on the jurisdiction. In Canada: And I agree with the idea behind it. You marry someone with kids, those kids to become emotionally dependent on you. Just packing up and walking away is a massively douchebag move, and I'm glad that our laws reflect this douchebaginess with financial...

Just came across this concept... "Nothing is wrong with your sex drive" Basically the idea is that there is "spontaneous sexual desire" and "responsive sexual desire." Spontaneous sexual desire is what most people associate with "sex drive." But there's also this "responsive sexual desire" in...

Just going to point out there's nothing "innocent" about cheating. You're lucky as fuck to have such an understanding, rational boyfriend. Cheating isn't defined by how far you go, it's defined by consent, which your boyfriend wasn't given the opportunity to provide. 1) It sounds like you guys...

This. If you're lonely, look for friendship, male or female. That's how you fill the void of needing someone to talk to and hang with. Join meetups for some of your interests, as many as you can find in your area. Fill your time with hobbies and no-expectation social engagements. People can...

Doesn't matter if they're biologically his. You're married and so he's a legal guardian and child support applies. If he was being less of a prick about it, I'd be more inclined to let it go, but he deserves to pay. You don't just walk away from your family like that.

Ugh. What kind of idiot step-parent swoops in and tries to discipline nearly-grown teenagers? My husband had a 13 year-old when I met him, and I never once pretended to be her parent. She was way too old to need another mom. And with a 4-year difference? Oy! As for the current situation... I...

Sounds more like you're crossing your boundaries by continuing to be the middleman. There's no rule that says you have to see your partner's partner at all, let alone if they're stressing you out with issues that aren't your problem. It's their right to refuse medication, and it's the right of...

Every few months someone comes here with the same question. Usually men but sometimes women. Seems men often have trouble finding women who don't think they're just players, and women have trouble finding men who, well, aren't just players... But yes, they exist, and seem to be in pretty equal...

I have no trouble sleeping alone anywhere. I usually have trouble sleeping with anyone, anywhere. I'm a light sleeper and the slightest movement jerks me awake. My husband works out of town and is only home every other weekend. If I stay up until I'm adequately zombified, I can sleep with him...

I haven't read any of your other posts, but based on the breast thing alone... Your husband is a major tool who needs to be served with divorce papers immediately. You just don't do shit like that to people you love. It's one thing for you to make adjustments and want to save the marriage and...

Keep it up! It took my mom 64 years to develop a backbone. When she finally did, I didn't even know how to handle it, I was just so used to being spoiled and always getting my way with her. It took me an additional 2 years to accept "no" from her, even though I had no trouble at all with every...

That was an interesting read. What stuck out to me was "Discounting the positives" except I kinda have the opposite compunction. Funny how "Discounting the negatives" is probably just as distorted, but never frowned upon. I mean there are plenty of things I notice that aren't what they could be...

Therein lies the difference between "boundaries" and "rules." It doesn't matter if it's rational or "fair," if it's a fact that finding out your partner is having threesomes will lead to you losing desire for them, then it's perfectly reasonable to share that fact and allow them to choose their...

OoOo I like that bit. It's one thing to say "This is your last chance." It's quite another to say "These are the divorce papers I'm going to serve you with if you cheat on me again. Last chance; don't screw it up."

I have to agree with the moving fast point. It usually takes 6 months to a year for "new relationship energy" (i.e. the "honeymoon phase") to wear off. I have to wonder how much of the move was with deliberate intent because everyone wanted it, or were there mitigating circumstances that rushed...