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Mostly sorted itself out. I told him one day that sex was something I needed in relationships I'm pursuing. He made one more valiant effort, but unsurprisingly the conversation only made the pressure worse. He's a little slow when he wants to be (ie when he doesn't want to hear what you have to...

I really don't like the idea of trying to stifle people from talking about whatever's on their mind, even if it's not something you can relate to, or that triggers difficult feelings for you. It strikes me as self-centered and inconsiderate. Being in a relationship means sometimes you have to...

TLDR: New boyfriend can't get hard because he gets too nervous around me and can't stop thinking. Also watches a lot of porn and masterbates frequently. While I know that PIV is not the be-all-end-all of sex, it's something I'm specifically seeking in my relationships right now. I already have a...

Squeeeee! I love Heinlein! They better not fuck it up. But SyFy is usually pretty good...

Hubby and I almost never actually fight - only when we're both emotionally and physically exhausted by several life factors, and run out of energy to converse responsibly. We both counted 10 Trues on the quiz, but we've been practicing for 11 years and have done an NVC weeklong course together...

No. Own your issues. Whatever J was doing, if you had a breakdown bad enough to require a leave of absence from work, then there's a lot more going on with you than an unavailable boyfriend. It sounds like you made yourself dependent on him for emotional fulfillment. Your need for affection and...

Or not. I mean, if you're not interested, you're not interested. Sure you can try them out and see if you enjoy them, but I'll assume you've tried each of his hobbies at least once and they clearly didn't "grab" you. So feigning an interest just to get closer to him doesn't really make sense to...

Another area you see couple's privilege come up is in attempts to form triads from existing diads, usually people who don't really know what they're doing. Often what happens is a couple will ask a third person, usually a woman, to "join" their relationship. They say, and perhaps believe...

To me, the term "hierarchical poly" brings up images of the married couple on a pedestal, making up rules for their subordinates to follow, in order to protect the sacredness of the marriage. Barfaroni. Rules are stupid. Just date grown-ups who know how to handle themselves, how to communicate...

Seriously? See, this is how much I don't understand other people's notions of privacy. The idea that the name of a public business, in which two people were witnessed together in public, where Sprite could have walked by and seen the two of you having dinner... That this could be considered...

(1) My husband and I share finances via a joint account where both our paycheques go into, and from which the bills and household expenses are paid, and we each withdraw a personal allowance. When I go on dates, I use my spending money just like any other time I got out with friends. When my...

That's a funny example because my honest answer is "not always." Case in point: this weekend I was at a music festival where the weather was incredibly hot and the portapoties were mini-ovens. So I totally propped the door open to let some breeze in, not giving a fuck who saw, because it was...

I'm not trying to convince you of anything. I'm trying to ask you questions for clarification, and you're dodging them. I asked: how do you know what someone might and might not want shared? What do you do to make sure you never guess wrong? It probably seems like I'm trying to be pedantic and...

How do you know what someone might and might not want publicly known? What if something is no big deal to you but a really big deal to someone else? So then, do you just never tell anyone anything about anyone, in case you get it wrong about whether that was supposed to be private? Because of...

There's no logical contradiction. The conclusion may contradict your apparent assumption that my marriage has some kind of "privacy privilege," but I made no such claim. What I said was that I share things with him that affect me and my ability to be in a relationship with him, things that I'm...

So let me ask you: before you share your private thoughts with people, do you ask their permission? Otherwise, what right do you have to burden people with your problems and then forbid them to get help working through their own response with someone who loves and supports them? Do you offer to...

I'm confused. Was the "private" conversation about the relationship, or something unrelated about you personally that didn't direct affect the others? Because if you and the boyfriend had a conversation about the relationship, then that affects the wife as well (being as it's nominally a...

Thanksgiving weekend was rough and I fell all over my face. I'm blaming my husband. We went out for dinner on Friday, I ate a perfectly respectable amount of my plant-based curry, and he had his steak and lobster or whatever. Then he wanted desert, but he didn't care for the vegan cake option...

Unless you've had your TDEE professionally calculated using one of those fancy body fat scanners, and then rescanned periodically as you lose weight, anything you come up with is at best an approximation, and I think your own tracking would be a much better measurement (i.e. whatever the app...

I've been doing the IF for 24 days now, and I have to say this is by far the easiest and most pleasant way to lose weight I've ever done. Dare I say, almost enjoyable? I have so much more energy. It seems so backwards that you would have more energy when you're consuming less energy, but it's...