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Buddy, take your own advice. The wiki page on leading questions refers specifically to court testimonial. Last time I checked, no one is under interrogation when their partner is bringing up the topic of polyamory. A leading question is where you're phrasing a question so that your desired...

Let's all remember that one person's needs are not another person's obligation. That goes two ways. If your husband "needs" to have visitation time with his girlfriend, you're not obligated to give up your house for them to do it. Presumably she lives somewhere they can go, or they can get a...

I'll give you the answers for where I live (Saskatchewan, Canada) but you should check your local jurisdiction for confirmation. Most of these answers can be found by Google. I'm also reading between the lines and assume the two who aren't the girlfriend are married. Technically yes. If she's...

Where do you live? Laws vary tremendously by location. I'll give you the answers for where I live (Saskatchewan, Canada) but you should check your local jurisdiction for confirmation. Most of these answers can be found by Google. Technically yes. If she's not on the mortgage, and she's paying...

There's a surprising abundance of introverts in the poly world. I don't know what it is, it seems counter-intuitive, but time and time again when people post their Meyer-Briggs initials, "I" is the first one. Not always, be definitely seems to be in the majority. Poly introverts need their...

We just got our wills done the other day, and one thing I remember the lawyer saying was that in 90% of cases, it's better to just do things as individuals rather than trusts or corporations. Otherwise you basically create a ton of extra headaches (i.e. extra costs) and paperwork with no real...

Just found this, guess I'll jump in. I was doing well eating healthy and exercising (commute 3km to school, walking in the winter & cycling in the summer). But then my research hit a lull and I started staying home more. Staying home not only robs me of my exercise, but leads to me eating...

Agreed. Be responsible for yourself and your own relationship. The others are grown-ups and they can be responsible for their own selves. If Idealist isn't choosing to prioritize her, then he has his reasons, and they're none of your business. If she doesn't like being second on the totem pole...

Well, in a nutshell, you're gonna have to get over that... reality being what it is, and all. You can want him to initiate, but if he isn't going to, he isn't going to. So that leaves you three options: 1. Get over it and ask for what you want and be happy when you get it. 2. Don't ask for what...

To be fair, my husband pretty much moved in on our first date. I was still living with my mom at the time, and he was working on the road, pretty much living out of his car. He "stayed with me" for the first 3 weeks we were together, then he had to go back on the road to do his job, but invited...

I didn't say whether or not AJM did feel love... Only he is in a perspective to know that. I said that the act of forgoing your own happiness for the happiness of another is being a doormat. Sure, you can love someone and still be a doormat... but being a doormat doesn't prove you love someone...

I have. It's how I experience desire myself, which was confusing for a very long time because I thought I just had a "low sex drive" and even identified as asexual, then I met this guy who was crazy into me and always coming on to me, and that made me crazy horny and it was so confusing because...

Uhm, no. That's what being a real doormat is all about. Love is give and take. People who love you don't just toss you away when you become inconvenient.

Yeah I totally don't understand this concept at all. People don't own activities. They don't own your time. They don't own your enjoyment. If you like doing something, do it. Do it as much as you can, with everyone you can. Share the fun! If someone I was with was getting jealous that I'm doing...

There's no objective answer here. Your responsibility ends wherever you'll stop feeling guilty if you don't do it. If you'll feel bad about yourself for not informing the metamours that they're not as safe as they think, that they should get tested, and that they can still transmit the disease...

Throw him on the couch and devour him. Quit giving him the cold shoulder. Reverse-psychology is bullshit. If you want passion back in your marriage, then pony up and become passionate with your husband. Quit waiting around for him to do all the devouring, look how well that's working out for...

I personally don't think it makes a difference. Whether you think someone will ever love you again has less to do with poly and more to do with self-esteem. During all my previous break-ups, I've never had that thought, whether or not I was with someone else at the time. I always knew that the...

I generally feel it's best to be responsible for yourself and only yourself, and leave your partners free to make their own choices. Anything short of that is unlikely to be sustainable. Is it reasonable to want a pet who will greet you at the door and sit on your lap when you watch tv? Sure...

It's a bit hit-or-miss. Officially we follow British spellings but we've been thoroughly invaded by Americanese. I also put an "h" in yoghurt, although technically Canadian spelling follows American with yogurt. The one that bugs me the most is cheque vs check. Interesting... I didn't know...

I'll tell you what my husband and I do, and what my girlfriend and her husband do, to give you a spectrum of behaviour. If my husband's home (he works out of town, gone for days at a time) and I'm going on a date (which I rarely do when he's home, since we have so little time together as it is...