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Thanks LR (again):) I don't know what stage you're at in terms of days and nights but I hope it is getting easier. Has Maca always been this way? Surely for such a long term relationship something must have changed for him to be behaving differently? Maybe somethings changed with you? Now that...

I just got an email from daughter No. 2. (I love the way you've named your peas, by the way. Trying to think of a way to do that for our tribe.) She'll be 20 in May. From the age of about 12 until now she's been in a virtual gaga-land. The gist of the email, "I love you, Mum. You're the best...

I really have to do some work now but I have progressed a way though this already with all your help. I believe that the common wisdom of transitioning etc. won't work for us because I think that Z and J's relationship has distinct elements of addiction in it. He's been going through...

I admire you, LR. I gave up (have given up) with some of our tribe through the teenage years, primarily because I actually don't want to spend time with them. It's just not worth it and seems like a lose/lose for me. I might get their company, but it's not company that in their present...

Hi Lady I (thanks RP) Hope things are going well for you? I seem to have hit something of a speed bump myself. Yes yesterday I thought things were back to normal but unfortunately it was something of a false recovery. I think part of the problem is that Z is very fragile under a seemingly...

Thanks guys for your very sweet kindness. You're all right and next time it happens I think we will make a plan in advance to deal with it. Sometimes I get so tired of always being the one to organize this kind of thing though. In my experience men just don't seem to "get it" in the same way...

Thanks NYCindie and yes in a perfect world that is how it would be but the reality is a little different. He's feeling "flat", probably because he knows he won't see her again for some time. He has quite a bit on his plate at the moment (normal real life stuff), that he could forget about while...

AAAAArgh, feeling very frustrated, I'm feeling jealous again and I haven't felt jealous in years. Z spent 3 days with J over last weekend. Part of that time I was away at a wedding. So what am I jealous of? The quality of his energy. Does this sound crazy? Z thinks it is. It's like he becomes...

Cool, it would be nice to catch up if you'll be in the city? I'll mark it in my diary and my number is 040 4168 643. Hopefully we can put on some dry weather for you.

Sorry about your cold. Congrats on 2 months sobriety. I'm a little over that myself but have only just started AA so I haven't got a chip. I actually would even be able to tell you when exactly I stopped drinking because I gave up without really realising it. It was a little after new year. I...

Really pleased everything is OK. Congrats, Grandma. :)

RP is a very wise woman and I'm coming in on this very late but I have managed to find your original post. I'm afraid I haven't got time to go back over everything else. I actually agree with RP on the children thing. As an aside, Z's kids are 11 and 12 (girl and boy) and they don't live with...

Hi DH I'm sorry. I've seen your thread, but because it didn't strike me as having a poly-mono component, and it was so long, I haven't read it. I tried to get the gist of what's going on for you, but even that's difficult from here. Are your kids having difficulty with your polyamory? My kids...

Hi I'm glad you're seeing a counselor:) We've communicated quite a bit so I'm not going over it all again here. I just wanted to share something that a Buddhist Nun said in an interview. "Attachment is the opposite of love. When we are attached to someone we want them to make us happy. When we...

Hi Ladyintricate I hope things aren't too tough for you at the moment. Please leave me a private message if there is anything I can help with, smiles Sage

((Hugs)) I also asked my partner to give up his SO in the beginning. He was very sad, and although I know he really tried, he was never the same. It took a couple of months, but in the end, I told him to resume the relationship. That's when I really started learning about polyamory and how to...

Love may not be finite, but our ability to handle the consequences of it are, I think. Maybe you, who seem to be one of most infinitely loving people I know, are banging up against the finite. I don't think that is necessarily any more poly/mono than poly/poly. Is it not about acceptance...

What was the thread? Been so busy lately, no time to monitor things here properly. Hope it wasn't something I said. I got a teeny bit triggered myself with one woman. Not upset for me, just frustrated with people who aren't prepared to work. I agree with LR. I think workshops being workshops...

Hi I hope your family are OK. I don't really know anyone in ChCh but it's still very scary. We're all from Wgtn which was supposed to get the big earthquake. My worry is that this could be starting something of a chain reaction. Are you still coming to Brissie?

I didn't want it either. For a long time I tried to ignore it, minimize it and basically just hoped it would go away. Maybe it will for him; it didn't for Z. Some polyamorous people do seem to have a choice as to whether they pursue it or not. Z doesn't, it's part of who he is and in the end I...