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Thank you Indie for the Na reference! A lot of societies past and present have functioned without the consept of paternity, often somewhat hazy on the mechanics of reproduction to begin with. Not long ago, men in Western societies were thought to place a fully-formed proto-human baby with their...

Like I moth, I find myself drawn to the flame. Could there be a religious/spiritual component to some d/s or non-monogamy situations? If it's an overly hierarchial and authoritarian one, then sure, it could be non-monogamy in a cult-like set-up. Also, consent was briefly mentioned. Whenever we...

The Lord is indeed good. Cookie has found the woman of his dreams, and it ain't me! He cancelled our overnight date tonight to be with this dream broad, and I'm so happy I'm well-nigh bursting. Go happy couple go! I hope he never texts me again. Vanilla just left for the kink party we we're...

Happy happy joy joy I had the greatest day yesterday. I presented my work at a conference and got enthusiastic feedback. Work was great, as usual, and I had a happy relaxing evening at the place I'm volunteering at. I didn't realize how important this feeling of confidence in my work and...

Poly is just like having cats Well, not for everyone. Personally, I greatly dislike cats. I don't go all ooey-gooey when I see a picture of a kitten in a magazine. I don't want to cuddle other people's cats. I don't want to have cats. Yet, we have two cats, and I was actively involved in the...

We just got off from a meeting with a crisis centre support worker. That was really beneficial, since we hadn't seen anyone as a couple yet. I was really surprised that Vanilla resents me blowing up her phone daily with 2481204 text messages, especially when she is with someone else. Since I'm a...

I think peculiarities of internet blogging are at least in partly responsible for my changed public image :eek:. When I started out, I was single, unemployed and very sporadically educated. I had a lot of time to comment on every post out there at length. Nowadays I'm a super-busy worker bee...

Co-dependence is def our poison. We don't even know how to fight properly. I mean, prior to Cookie/Chip situation, our disagreements went like this: "I feel bad when you do x". "OMG, you are so right, I'm a horrible person for doing x". Lots of crying and embracing ensues 0_o. Atm I'm fine with...

Hi there! Won't comment on the poly stuff, since my own life is on the rocks when it comes to that and I don't trust my ability to say anything constructive on relationships anymore. But my mum also has cancer, she didn't undergo chemo though but is generally in a really bad shape due to a...

Ugh, maybe I should give space to others for comments before I chime in? Anyways, I named her Vanilla in part because I LOVE vanilla ice-cream. Like seriously, best ice-cream there is. And the only perfume I've ever been able to use was a vanilla perfume. For now we've agreed to keep Chip away...

Sunday - too many pills So my decision to move out since I'm starting to hate myself and the way I act around the person I love the most in the world didn't last. I came by to get some of my stuff tonight and find Vanilla completely incoherent after popping too many painkillers. Yay. So I'm not...

Saturday, bad decisions galore continues I have a training to go to in the morning but can't manage to get up in time, due to having fought and cried and fucked and generally having been up too late. Vanilla has made a study date with Chip. She is feeling very achy and asks me if it's okay that...

Major mess Wednesday, at the therapist The therapist was really cool. I felt I could really talk to her about all the stuff that's happened to me well, since preschool. She said upfront that she feels relationships that are very young suffer from being open, because there is no base level of...

It's def all me. She read this and emphasized again that her being ashamed to admit to her friends that something's wrong is the least part of it. She doesn't want to take a break because she really, really, wants to be with me, even if I'm a super-crap partner right now. I need to start...

WARNING - a super-long update Re-cap since last post So, I pretty much dumbed Cookie's ass. However, he is so sad and lonely and forlorn that I kinda feel humanitarian concern for him. Which led into cuddling and sex, although I had pretty much sworn him off at that point :(. Meanwhile...

I had a miscarriage. A really minor one, the thing wasn't even a month old, but I'm feeling sad nevertheless. Sad and relieved at the same time. Like I didn't even know it was there until it was already gone, and I'm mourning for something that I didn't even know I'd miss. Cookie's reaction...

Big news We're engaged! Yay for me, yay for us, yay for Vanilla! My mum warned me that often when people make a big commitment to each other, like getting engaged, married, buying property or deciding to try for kids, the relationships might experience some turbulent times, because of all the...

A brief update before our trip: We communicated with Cookie. I communicated what I want and expect of him and he said that he wants that also. Hooray for communication! He was/is worried that he is expendable since I already have Vanilla and that he should try to find a primary also and not...

I've been thinking a lot today and tonight about how my history of abusive relationships might have sort of prepped me for that. I know how to deal with abuse, I know how to love people who constantly hurt me. Yup, I've been thinking I need to try to solve this situation like I solved it the...

What I find hardest at the moment is that I have two people who really don't know what they want out of me atm. Vanilla at first wanted to find a shared boyfriend. Enter Cookie. Then she found Pistachio - by all standards a really bad find: possessive, depressed, mono and jealous. Fine, let her...