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I don't know. I think I would like most for everyone to be happy, but it seems that all three people can not be happy in this situation at the same time. Vanilla is questioning whether she wants poly at all, or just open. She wonders on the other hand if it's just Cookie she is incombatible...

Agreed! For me, the most difficult part of cultivating independence in a relationship is a) to be able to separate my emotions from my partner's emotions (just because they feel sad/angry/frustrated/whatever, doesn't mean I have to feel those same things. I can be supportive without sharing...

Hierarchies :D I had to google SNAFU, it's brilliant! Sweetheart is always teaching me new slang expressions, like cup of joe. And what do you know, I was watching Twin Peaks the other night and Agent Cooper used it right there! LUR-VE Agent Cooper :o >sigh<... Anyway, I digress. Vanilla's...

The situation you described with your ex is my personal poly nightmare. Even after dating for almost a year and living together I don't trust Vanilla completely when she says no dom/me of hers could ever come between us. Is your bf even potentially interested in a (kinky) relationship with her...

Sounds reasonable to me. Try to achieve balance so that no one is left feeling that they are stuck at home babysitting while everyone else is off having a good time. Those emotions will likely come at some point, no matter what you do, but making sure that you always have dates at the same time...

Hullo and welcome! You are not the first swinger to cross these boards, so I hope some members who have a similar background will want to chime in. This is very new, right? Whereas you have been with your hubs for some time already? I think those indepth discussions might come along once...

An interesting perspective. I think most of the advice against moving-in within few months or less comes from reading stories of triad fallouts where getting the "third person" out of the house fast enough for everyone to preserve their peace of mind would be impossible, unpractical and...

Scheduling mess I've been having a real hard time at school. Yesterday, on Wed, I was supposed to go spend the night with Cookie and Vanilla was going to be with her beau Pistachio. On Tuesday I realized that on Wed, I would be happy to get home after 11 pm, with so much schoolwork piling up...

Why yukky? Your avoidance backfired as continued fighting, so I think that's a valuable lesson there What names would you have called them? They are in a relationship, right? And there's no boundary around "sex must always happen just among the three of us"? As I understood your introductory...

Oh, that was more proverbial, as in "He's been staying overnight three nights in a row, don't you think he's practically living in here? Maybe he could go home for a few nights." Thanks :o. I like to believe it takes practice more than sheer luck, but appreciate the thought.

I want that in a T-shirt! I've never really given much thought to how much pressure men feel while dating women. I mean, I've always focused on comparing myself with other women, and have only recently realized men do those kind of calculations in their heads too :eek:.

:o It's true. I'm a horrible NRE crazy inconsiderate person :(. I think it's me neglecting her. Yeah, maybe me being an arse is not her responsibility to manage, but I think it would be beneficial to calm things down for a bit, like until the end of this month, before inviting Cookie over to...

Thanks for all the support and input! :o We have the stick-and-stones version of GoogleCalendar hanging on our wall, and inspired by your suggestion we agreed to put down dates/functions that are just for the two of us with a special code on our family planner, so no chance for...

NRE monstrosities So, it appears I have turned into an NRE monster. The weekend was spent fighting, mostly. First Cookie and Vanilla had a massive two-hour fight, and I had a panic attack. I've come to realize I shy away from conflicts, which isn't necessarily the best pattern to have when...

Thanks for reading, and I think you are on to something there. I said to Moonlight that his problem with poly is that he is trying to hit the jackpot twice. He already has an amazing wife, and is trying to find an amazing gf. I no longer ID as an unicorn, since I am happily partnered with a...

So nice that you have your own blog finally, and sorry to hear about PrettyLady :(. Nothing much more to say, just keep posting when you can!

Steering off-topic: with many of the dogs in the pounds, there is very little info on their background. Also, it's difficult to assess accurately how their behaviour will change once they are brought home. Even small puppies can have traumas, bad parenting and nutrition in their past that will...

Aww, thanks! It's a struggle. It's actually more of a struggle between Vanilla and Cookie, more of that below. Vanilla's had her share of crazy partners for sure. Her ex tried to kill her and now they are best of friends; another ex tried to kill her friend and now they are slowly rebuilding...

A bunch of things A little over a month since I posted and so much has happened. I used to think I'm no good posting when nothing's happening, but it seems I suck at posting when there's a heap of things going on, too. So I find myself in a triad again. Which is a challenge, really. The...

Hmm... I would bet she just couldn't think of a polite way to say no, and brought up your possible feelings to dodge the date. He is literally twice her age, so I don't see this necessarily developing into a relationship, anyway. Why stress?