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So, you would like to practice polyamory, but not so much that you'd want to break up with your partner over it, so you can move on to poly-dating on your own. Is that about right? If so, how are you managing your feelings of betrayal? Is that the incompatibility? They believe "love is...

I'm going to guess. I might guess wrong, but maybe it helps you. Is that why the idea of you dating separately is wigging out your partner? They don't want to date anyone else right now, and you dating separately on your own changes that whole "polyfidelity" or "closed to just us" thing? Is...

I am sorry to hear about the break up. March is 4-5 mos ago, depending on the date. Could it be you are ready to move on and date again and your partner is still grieving? This experience may have changed each of you in different ways. Like, you changed and want more polyamorous experiences...

This is a lot. It sounds like your wife cheated with the neighbor, had a child by him, and you adopted the child. Eventually, you also started dating other people. Meanwhile, wife continues to see other people/neighbors for casual sex. This isn't fully consenting polyamory, to me. This isn't...

You could think about it now. It's good that you talked about it. Who knows? Maybe you want casual sex. Nobody is entitled to partnered sex. And what if, in your exploring, you get your groove back? "Open to polyamory" means open on both sides. He can date other people. So can you. Both...

That's the thing. (You + DH) are the ones who are married. This person, X, is NOT being "brought into the marriage." I do not suggest you all try to have a full triad as newbies, like all dating each other. But even if you did, she is STILL not a part of your marriage. It would be: You + DH...

I am not sure what you are asking in that sentence. Would you please be willing to clarify? WHO is bringing WHAT on? Why do you have to be involved with whatever they are doing, or accept it? You do not have to date the same person as your spouse in polyamory. It's not a requirement. You do...

Fair enough. Make sure you have money for hotel and changing flight to go home early if you end up not getting along so you aren't stuck in awkward for weeks. Hopefully it goes well and isn't even needed... but have the emergency funds anyway. I could be wrong but it sounded like poly hell...

I don't know if this helps you any. Could a poly-friendly counselor help you? https://www.polyfriendly.org Are you mad that she was pushing you to meet him, and wasn't hearing you or respecting your limit? You don't really like him, nor their friend group. It seems like you are trying to...

Compersion is nice when it happens, but it isn't a requirement in polyamory. It's okay to feel glad your partner enjoys time with their other partner, but it's also okay to feel neutral or nothing about it. If reaching comparison is too big a leap, it's okay to work on reducing your anxiety...

I guess it depends on the behavior in question. Like treating people politely with good manners? Sure. I'm for that. The world needs more kindness and good manners. Hold the door open. Help people carry groceries into the house. Why not? Just giving some new potential the keys to our house...

It sounds like you were taught to do self-neglect/shrink yourself, and tend to X instead. I wonder who it benefitted? Mom? Dad? Someone else? It wasn't benefitting you back then to do self-neglect. It doesn't benefit you now to do self-neglect. (You don't have to answer that here. Just think on...

I'm sorry you hurt. I suggest you really do your soul searching on this. You wouldn't be posting if you were totally happy in this situation. I'm going to lift this up: Aren't breakups part of "whatever happens, happens"? The good experience with this couple was had. Nobody can take your...

Anyone can have a bad day and say things they don't mean. But if this is a PATTERN... that's a problem. Harry_Fondue is the one actually there. So Harry has to figure out if this was a one time thing or a pattern. I think that's worthwhile to think about. Entirely possible to change the...

What are the current agreements? Are they reasonable, rational, and realistic? You feel what you feel. You don't have to shame yourself about having feelings there in bold. You might have personal work to do in this area. You don't have to be the "Cool Poly Partner" and pretend. You can be...

Glad it helps you reflect some. You can answer/not answer here as you choose. There's no pressure and no judgement. But perhaps a different way of seeing things might help you figure some stuff out in your particular situation. GL! Galagirl

I'm sorry you're hurting. :( Yes, ending the marriage is a change and there's the end/loss of that marriage. But what would you GAIN from ending it? Where are you two gonna GO? If you and Tim break up and divorce, you are still coparents, since there are the kids. You've known each other...

"Nothing" may have happened with Dude, but "something" happened in this marriage. Several damaging things. Things are rocky, and she's off having her bit of fun rather than working on things with you. She told you to go ahead and divorce her. If things were good she would choose honesty and...

You could examine the doctrine and your understanding of it. Maybe you want to read things like "Stages of Faith" by James Fowler, M. Scott Peck, or Scotty McClennan. Your understanding of your faith is going to mature over time. This is a brief chart, but you might appreciate the books...

Good for you! Also good for you! Divorced families are still family. I think he's just surprised he can't have you around for his back-up plan any more. You decided to move on. Maybe what your kids need to see/learn is you leaving a bad situation, so if this kind of thing ever happens to...