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There you have it. There is the disconnect.

Believe me, I know how it is. I live in a rural area too. Just be strong, SisterWomen. Everything that must be, will be.

No, SisterWoman, you are not the only one to feel this way. The choice would seem to be either endure the frustration and keep looking and holding out for what you really want, or lower the bar and take what you can find. Only you can know which choice is right for you.

Thanks for the links, polytriad. I have a larger frame of reference for your situation now.

What she said. ;)

Link?

Are you wifey's husband? You seem to have inside information. That's not that uncommon, especially with women who are only accustomed to dating men, manly men in particular. For many generations, women have been enculturated to demur, to follow the man's lead in romantic situations, and to make...

Here are some things that work for us, when Fidelio and I have to be apart: We leave little love notes where they will be found. (On the mirror, inside drawers, on the coffeemaker, etc.; OR inside the suitcase/briefcase, folded into pajamas, tucked into the laptop, etc.). Some of them turn up...

Is there enough for three, maybe? I'm a huge fan of the fireplace and comfy jammies scene. ;)

If you've tried repeatedly, it's up to her to respond. If she won't or can't, the three of you can't move forward. It's her move.

Hi Wifey. Welcome to the forum. This sounds to me like you and your girlfriend really need to open up the lines of communication. You are scared to fully express yourself, and think she is afraid to, too. It can be scary to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open, but it is so worth it. But...

Hello Gibby, Chris and Sue, I know y'all are all new to the forum, so I thought I'd make sure you're aware that visitor messages are not private. Any member can now access your email addies and anything else you post here. Just FYI.

Rats. Sorry, Magdlyn. :( Romance can be such a rollercoaster.

Hi, Flo. Sorry about the trouble you're experiencing at home. You've already been given some terrific advice, so I'm not going to repeat it. I just want to add that if you're communicating your needs clearly, respectfully and lovingly to Marcus and Marina, and can't get any traction with them...

Ooh, yummy! I just love that feeling, when I've met someone who seems terrific, and there's that spark, and I can't wait to get to know them better! Yummy yum yum! And for both of you to be experiencing this at the same time! Sweet! Wherever things go from here, savor these moments. :)

This is so very much the way I used to be. It took me a very long time to come to terms with, and finally to embrace, the fact that in many ways I am just different than other people. I used to think I was a total weirdo. I still think so, but now I know that weird is just different, and...

Wow. Beautiful.

There are some great, very useful threads on here about definitions, etc. Look for the stickies at the top of each of the various fora here. But you don't really need definitions from outside sources nearly as much as you need some clear, open and honest communication with this other person...

Oh, Redpepper, I am so thrilled for you! And how beautiful, to be able to express your inner journey in that outward way. I hope your audience sensed what a gift they received. Of course most of them wouldn't have any way of knowing, but still somehow the inner self shines through. I grok that...

Here's what I'm seeing: Your metamour had an unplanned-for need/desire (to not be alone) and asked for what she needed. Poly-points to her for knowing what she wants and asking for it. (Not that we're keeping score; just go with me here.) You heard her and worked with your husband to meet her...