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My mono (K) and I actually met on eHarmony. I had gotten out of a relationship where I was trying hard to be a good little mono and signed up with some extended deal there. After signing up I realized that I wasn't willing to try at being mono anymore and came to full identify as poly. I'm...

Welcome, ClariceK. *hug* Step #1 is talking to people that can help you get perspective, so you've gotten started. Two things popped out to me on an emotional level in reading your story. First, you referred to your "Family." I don't know if that was intentional or not, but you used capital F...

Rider, I actually read RBR's thread about your freak outs before replying here. Hi there. :D Looking at that thread and this one together, yep, RBR might be best served by reconsidering her weekend plans with E. A month is pretty new. It would be new for a mono relationship. It's new for a...

Yay! Here's to a relaxed lunch where you can just show her that you're a happy and healthy unit. As freaked out as she may have been, I bet mom deep down just wants her baby to be safe and happy. Seeing that and seeing another supportive mom will hopefully help. We'll be looking for those...

Everyone reacts to being faced with a real poly situation differently. She may be wrestling with feelings of guilt and self-image over the previous affair and not really understand how to process this new revelation. Love and forgiveness, openbj. We can't push anybody through the door, but we...

A better way for me to phrase that would have been for openbj to share her research in that forum. My bad for not making that clear. Thanks for the link, Magdlyn!

My own research inquiry aside, NYCindie is likely correct. Space is good for right now. As you reconnect, you can come form a place of love and forgiveness (both vital to Christianity, relationships in general, and polyamory in particular).

I'm actually really curious to hear more about your research and examples, if you wouldn't mind sharing. Thanks. :)

RC, this is a good sign. It's the healthy type of response I'd expect from a successful relationship. Nycindie is right in suggesting prioritizing your in-town time and have a schedule as helpful, but that will take practice, so chalk it up for the future. You're doing well. On some level...

That's fine, Sage. Outside relationships are serious committed. We're (the wife and I) currently working on a situation where one of my amors (ten years though we've been geographically separated for several) and her daughter might relocate across the country. We bought a house with the...

One of the basic foundations that sets polyamorous folks apart from swingers and whatnot is the slightly rabid belief in communication. Asking poly folks if you should talk or shut up is kind of like asking a hungry shark if it would like to bite a wounded bloody fish or nurse it back to...

Well done, RobertChill. Let us know if you need anything. All the best to you and yours.

Best of luck! I'd suggest that part of the strength of NYCindie's suggestion is that the whole thing is spelled out in one piece. Text might disperse that some. You may consider sending NYCindie's formal invite as an email and using texting for discussion of the email. *fingers crossed and big...

Sagency's Guide to a Less Screwed-Up Life: Question #2 Life question #2 Is this a really question I want the answer to (a.k.a. if there is no good answer, should I ask the question)? Sometimes we seek things that do nothing but upset us when we would have been fine without ever asking. Humans...

Sagency's Guide to a Less Screwed-Up Life: Question #1 Life question #1 Is this a level of crazy I'm willing to deal with? Much of what we face in life is based on our choices. Our choices affect our environment. This is true for us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sometimes the added...

RP asked me to share the story of my relationship with my monogamous partner as a potential lesson. I'm the polyamorous partner in a successful poly/mono relationship. I have personal association with other poly/mono relationships. Perhaps I was not applying a scientific level of data analysis...

Sage: Brisbane's a nice town. I was there about six years ago. It's stocked full of folks with adorable accents. ;) RP: I'll move some stuff over there later tonight. I'm glad my disasters both personal and observed have later value. Prommat: I was explaining to the wife this thread and...

Sure thing, Sage. I'm the poly in a successful poly-mono relationship. I have personal association with other poly-mono relationships. Perhaps I was not applying a scientific level of data analysis to the global poly-mono pool, but I was aiming for reassurance that there are workable...

You've been here about three days and you're already mastering one of the most important parts of poly (or, really, relationship) life? Awesome! You might not realize how big that one thing is, but it's totally great. I'm happy for you. She runs to him, but comes home to you, yes? Why not...

Fake it 'til you make it. :cool: Yeah, we know. At least I know because I've been in that angry mode, too. On True Blood, a character in Season 3 says something to the effect of, "No, don't say that. Don't say that, because when someone says that, I black out and wake up surrounded by body...