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River (and any other interested readers), you might also appreciate a book called "The Transformation" by George Leonard. It's an older book, now out of print, but likely copies are available secondhand via Amazon or such. I got a copy for a special friend a couple years back. Here's a link to...

Good plan IG, It's healthy. I think it's always useful to remember that part of what bonds us to others is respect. And respect comes (at least partially) from seeing our strength and independence. The fact that we have our hand firmly on the tiller, compass and chart close by. Good luck...

To me, there's a lot more said in this book than the title, or all the commentary, completely captures. What struck me (and I think this was even quite literally mentioned in a place or two) is that the ramifications of this are a culture-wide concern: It's not about "sex" per se. It's not...

I completely get what you are referring to IG. And thanks Snowbunting for helping explain what sometimes is a difficult concept to grasp - depending on one's cultural background and vocabulary. Like I said - language is SUCH a slippery tool for communication because it's an evolving device...

Hey IG, Haven't been back to the program for a bit - sry. Do you still feel it's "sad" ? Language is funny............ The 'concept' is old and well recognized. It especially shows up a lot in eastern philosophy. Not allowing ourselves to form addictions is far from a 'sad' goal. And it...

You're absolutely right Brigids ! I think that starts to change sometimes if you get a few multipartner experiences under your belt. Your imagination starts to come back. And imagination in sex is critical ! :) GS

Yea Erosa - Mon pretty much summed it up in a sentence or two. Despite years of activism and publicity, homophobia has really not changed. It seems to have taken a dip for a few years but has been on the growth pattern again the last few years. I don't know whether it will ever be overcome...

Yep, that's what I was referring to. The word "natural" is where the trap is. Maybe we should say "standard or common" It's very much a cultural thing. In our current culture is probably most common (taught) that love & caring are to be expressed this way. So from that perspective/definition...

LOL Test failed. This 'board' - or anything similar is far from a representitive sample of the world at large. For the most part it's like the dentist............ If you don't have a toothache you likely are not going to be here. Unless it's just a subject of interest in general, people...

There's also some good related conversation in the book review thread of Sex at Dawn. Mono, I know you refused to read that, but you really should! :) Lot of interesting sociology information in there, besides the sexual parts, stuff that a lot of people know instinctively, but forget...

No - it's not 'silly'. Well............maybe :) It's just envy. Perfectly natural. Would you be more comfortable if you had someone to play with - maybe. Probably. But I think that's all you need to understand. Nobody likes to feel/be left out but there are times it's going to happen...

Hi Freedom, I'm not totally clear on your question......... Are you referring to a lack of some cultural indoctrination that insists that lack of jealousy equates to lack of 'love' ? That is a common mis-perception that is pretty prevalent. gs

Yes, potentially worthwhile hijack. I don't know if we have a thread focused on this or not. If not, maybe we should. It's a very important topic/concept. But yes, although it is a broad, sweeping generalization, the jury is in fact in, from an overall perspective. And of course, there are...

Hi Jake - and welcome. The situation you describe is far more common than you might expect. I have been in it myself as has my mate. It's pretty delicate. The odds of 4 people matching up are pretty high. It's why various combinations of 3 are far more common. The ticklish part seems...

Hi Sinew, If it's any help, keep in mind that our "views" on things such as love and sexuality are largely inherited, cultural concepts. And cultures change as knowledge converges on them. Look to your 'heart'. What's best for maintaining human relations ? It's been explored that the...

Now now Mags - where's your stats and research documentation to support this ? :) Define "rare" ? I'mTheOne - assume nothing. Like I've seen printed elsewhere........"Those who say it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those busy doing it" It will all be what you make it. Dream high but...

Welcome Pete, Well, the statistics are in. Guess what? We are not naturally a monogamous species. Okay. So now, after the enlightenment, what's next ? :)

Hey Saevu, Not to be blunt, but there's a lot more to sex than peni/vag penetration. Are ALL openings that stretched ? :) Autumnal hit one tool for helping there. In the meantime, there's lots of things to explore and enjoy. Open your mind. Get creative. It's all fun and the...

Hi Juicy, Well you ARE in one relationship - from your own internal perspective. Your relationship with life! And all these others (and more) ARE just different facets. Interesting observation actually ! :) When that will change is when you start to really focus on the other instead of...

You're very welcome. One thing, whether you've considered it or not, that could help a lot, is integration. Depending on how Yvonne and Karl (and Reba) are structuring and navigating this, there may be opportunities for you all to be together. How do you get along with Karl? Are you guys...