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Definitely a deal breaker. They don't have to be perfectly groomed and pristine 24/7, but what you describe is just ridiculous. Can't even bother to shower and gargle a mouthful of Scope before a first date? That's not just bad hygiene---that's disrepectful! :rolleyes:

This is the most spot-on answer, IMO. Well-done. This is definitely what I've noticed in my local poly community regarding who feels comfortable embracing poly as an identity. As a gay poly guy, I agree the idea of being a "Minority inside a minority" is definitely a real challenge to consider.

If you specifically wanted to find couples, polymatchmaker would probably be better than okcupid. (Except for the fact it's a smaller site with fewer members.) With okcupid, if you see "Available" instead of "Single" as the relationship status, that's usually the closest thing to a poly flag...

I made good friends with a guy and his wife at the local poly meetup a long while back. I started dating him a couple months ago. Last night I had a second date with a guy from OKCupid. That's it for now. :cool:

There are lots of gay triads out there and even some quads. I was once in a triad (broke up due to reasons unrelated to poly), and am friends with a few other all-male triads. One even recently joined my local poly organization. So yes, it's out there. If you guys do eventually consider...

Welcome guys. Hope you get something out of it. Reading and learning is a good start. I agree with the other poster about "Opening Up". I also liked "The Polyamory Handbook" by Peter Benson. There are few resources specifically for gay poly's, but if you're on facebook, a discussion...

Ladies & Gentleman, I give you a poly family of Jack O'Lanterns! Happy Halloween! ;)

The intense violence, blood and gore was the part I really hated. Ugh. I hate those types of movies! And I totally agree that "wargasms" was the corniest line I've heard in a movie outside of a comedy! The poly part though? I didn't have much a problem with that really. I mean, it's gotta...

^ Oh for crying out loud. :eek: But on the other hand, I still say OKC is tame compared to what I often find on some of the gay men's sites. (I know...no surprise there!) Today, a man almost two decades older than me asked me if he could be my "daddy". I replied "how do you know you're...

Good points, musicalrose. My quote earlier from my bisexual male friend were his words describing why he preferred to identify as bisexual and not Pansexual. He had described pansexuals as being attracted to all genders, including transgendered individuals AND androgyny. (At least in his...

Getting a room with a king size bed is a heck of a lot less awkward than reserving a table for three on Valentines! ;)

One developed in the triad I was in. I guess it's naturual in a way. Heck, I'm sure it happens even in a couple. It's how everyone handles it that makes the difference! In my case, it actually was the cause of many conflicts. I think because the other two both had "Alpha" personalities and...

You have to turn it around on them: "Ugh, you only do monogamy?!? BUMMER!" :D

Almost sounds like you're the lesbian version of me in a roundabout way. ;) I'm 35 single gay male. I also click better and enjoy the company of my straight/bi poly friends way more than I do the monogamy-minded (ie, heteronormative) gay men that seem to make a huge proportion of my local gay...

I don't know about tribes but it's certainly the case in any poly relationship. Biggest reason my former triad fell apart was because M had this natural urge to be a ringmaster so to speak, being the oldest and the one who owned the house and the one that brought us all together. He let it go...

Savages Regarding the posts on Savages.... The violence was horrendously brutal and graphic so this film is NOT just for anyone. That night I had some nightmares in fact, they were so bad. But the poly element? I actually kinda liked it. Sexually they are a Vee (since her and both guys are...

Just about any poly group I've ever been familiar with would also cover open-relationships. (Unless, maybe, if you're talking about organized swinging, then yeah I guess that would be different.) I think huge chunk of the folks in my local poly group make up of couples with an open relationship.

Agree. Anyone you know who's a good public speaker and/or very eloquent? That'd be the only criteria, I'd imagine.

Outside of work and family? Hmmmmm.... I would have to say my circle of friends is currently almost half Poly folks. I might have a slight bit more non-poly friends, if you're talking pure numbers. But if accounting for frequency of how much I hang out with whom, then a slight edge to the...

I've known some poly people who were happier just being a secondary for two or three people and not dealing with a primary situation. It works for some people. I think the advantage there is less pressure to be a perfect match. It is harder to find a good match for a primary--would take more...