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I think when it comes to relationships, other people in general, there really aren't any hard and fast rules about how to "swim these waters"... every person and therefore every relationship is different, so we are all just feeling our way along :o I think it's just inherently confusing! But...

Hey Nix, any new developments? My boyfriend and I didn't even have sex for the first two months. And after that, even though there was a lot of heat, a lot of chemistry and both of us were very keen, the fact is we had both come out of long-term relationships and we were just "learning" each...

AntiPoly, people have been quite polite to you up until now. You've suggested that poly people have inferior relationships, and when they responded reasonably and thoughtfully with explanations of what poly really means to them, you respond with saying that their poly will eventually lead to...

Whoa, 6 weeks? Maybe you are still just getting used to each other. It took 6 MONTHS for me and my boyfriend to sync sexually with each other, and I hate to think that we would not have been together if we decided to just call it quits after a few unsuccessful attempts. But you're right...

I've recently decided that commitment looks to me like choosing someone, really knowing and wanting them. When I'm in a committed head-space, I don't have ideas of forever after, but I have the sense that I am working together with a loved one towards something quality, something that is worth...

Poly people do not make romantic love "on the same level" as platonic love or family love, whatever that means. It's also strange to me that you are on this board and want to tell the people on it that their relationships are not special. If you were truly curious, you would be asking questions...

Minxxa, we are essentially in agreement. My irritation, like I said, is mainly with the way the article explains itself. There's a big difference between: "hey, I really have feelings for this person, but they are not in a position to be in a healthy relationship and I choose not to move any...

Ugh. Although I think there's some good solid advice in there, the whole tone of that article really irks me. As someone who actually works with people with all types of personality disorders, addictions and mental problems every day, I find it a bit tiresome that someone would put together a...

My current boyfriend ended a relationship with his girlfriend of 4 years because he wanted to explore polyamory, and she couldn't/wouldn't. They were good in most other respects. It really was the start of the poly idea that was the beginning of the end, and they both seem to think so. But do...

Hi Vanille, I can really relate to your emotional state right now. About two years ago, my boyfriend started seeing a new woman, and I was very up and down, very ambiguous about everything. But in hindsight it was all ok. I think you have to remember that it's a process, as trite as it sounds...

Well, just from a research perspective, you might want to rethink questions 6, 9 and 10. It's hard to see who you are addressing with question 6... seems like you are assuming women in threesomes, ie do they prefer 2 men or 2 women? I'm not sure. And the last question... maybe you could ask...

ChloeJane, I actually think you are right about the value judgements that have been levelled against you. To be honest, the original post did come across as overly controlled. I think that most people with a longish history of doing this sort of thing have learned that rigid boundaries from the...

Somebody told me once when I was a lot younger that as you mature you go from looking for meaning in life to finding ways to create it. I'm beginning, I think, to see what he meant. Polyamory has been one example of that: using my dissatisfaction with the standard relationship model to really...

Yes, it is real. And, for me, it did take some time... or should I say, practice :) It was a gradual shift... one in which I've come to see compersion as the normal state of affairs and jealousy as more temporary and, most times, it alerts me to something in myself that isn't exactly right...

Hm, you sound exactly like the other girl from our "first go". It's uncanny :) Something that jumps out - you say that you agreed with him beforehand that emotional relationships were out of bounds and he did it anyway? And then you asked him to end it with her and he refused? I'm not a fan of...

Thanks, Ariakas, for putting it a lot more succinctly than me :) That's exactly it, generic. * * sigh * *

Nothing in life is for certain, and everything comes to an end. This I know intellectually. But I can't seem to hold that thought in my mind while at the same time abandoning myself to love/relationships. About two months ago, my partner of about 2 years now told me that by the time the year is...

At any rate, it's awesome that you are asking yourself these questions now. I would definitely hold out on marriage until this is thoroughly cleared up. It's sad that you think there is no happy ending here, though. I admit that transitioning into very different ways of life, be it polyamory or...

Well, EugenePoet, I wouldn't call it making love, but :) You're both right. I have mentioned that this is a bit scratchy for me to him and he is kind of incredulous that I would even be worried about it, but supportive nonetheless. He said that he will be prepared for if it happens, but he is...

Thanks everyone for the replies :) Redpepper: hmmm... the thing about asking him not to... for some reason I feel like I want to avoid that. For both of us, we are drawn to his whole poly thing in the first place because it means that both of us can explore new experiences while still having...