Search results

Awareness is a fine thing to have. I have a long realtionship with pessimism to tap into as needed. I just try to look for cheery ways to tell people doom is coming to gobble them all up. Nom nom nom! :eek:

Having someone to practice your flirting with and have fun with is a good thing. Plus, after working on improving his flirty technique, he can try the new moves on you and see how they work. ;)

What special things do they have that is reserved strictly for them? When he comes home, how does he greet the people in the house? Does he do things where he is specifically giving up an opportunity to do things with you in order to do something with her that she wasn't expecting? Are her...

Silia, isn't it reasonably well established that you have a tendency to panic? As such, you drop the announcement on Jayden that you have informed voodoo zen poly master Clay that you're hot for him, and sensei guru poly man says he's hot for you, too. (Your earlier posts and this one made...

Whether you're happy he loves her or not isn't necessary for poly life. That you be accepting of a partner's ability to receive love other than yours is. And yes, it is possible to love someone so much that they can be free to love others. Think about that for a bit. Think about it without...

Hi there, confusedme (confusedyou?). I don't doubt your lack of jealousy. I wasn't born with a jealousy unit installed either. In some ways, this feels almost unfair when hearing from others about their jealousy issues. Looking at the timing of your situation, you had 9 years of together...

Actually, I think the harshest post was NK saying that we have not yet begun to get harsh and to grow a pair if you didn't like it. Emotions are tricky critters though. And sometimes a stray word or two is all it takes. (K was crying uncontrolably yesterday, so I have crazy emotion thoughts...

I understand your point, NYCindie. Perhaps you might consider mine. Don't leave anything off the table, prescription meds, homeopathic remedies, another therapist, etc. I personally do not like medications, but I know for some they help. (If a doctor throws pills at you as a fix, be very...

Consider a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist. Also, if she has seen a therapist and is still having trouble, consider seeing a different one. They're each unique in their skills, insights, and techniques, and sticking with one that isn't working might be as much about the doctor as the...

1) Perhaps I'm a pessimist, but I don't believe that he has a clear grasp on honesty. You might have let the question go because "no" is the answer you preferred, but several parts of your story make me feel that this guy doesn't regard the truth as highly as nycindie does, for example. 2)...

Fake it 'til you make it, bro. :D If Mera is grading you on too much of a curve, you're back to self-study. I really wasn't kidding when I suggested chatting up (perhaps that's a better term in this case than hitting on) people you meet in normal daily interaction. I started chatting with staff...

My first wife (chronologically, no "concurrent wife" thing here--my mono, K, is #2) claimed to be poly as well. She explored quite a bit but was not ok with me exploring. That wound up ending when she brought home a unicorn and soon after demanded that I choose between the two of them...

Yep. ;)

I don't mean to have Mera just drag you along; I mean ask her to turn you into her socializing experiment. "Mera, your flirtation skills are legendary. I want to be your grasshopper and have you teach me the ways of snatching the pebble from your hand. I'm a dude, so your work is cut out for...

My mono, K, and I have a son who turned six months...oh, 34 minutes ago. We planned to have the one child, and things were fine through the preganancy (big medical drama at the end, but all are ok now). Because we planned things out, we've been reasonably ok. Pursuing any extra or complicated...

In my experience, it seems the younger people are, the more likely they are to text constantly instead of normal, human conversation. It seems to me that hubby is part of the issue in that he hasn't set a boundary with wife. If she texts, fine, but his replies just reinforce the behavior. If...

One of my personal rules is: If someone calls you an asshole, the first thing you should do is ask, "Am I being an asshole?" Sometimes the answer is, "Yes, you asshole." So when it comes to posts that seem harsh, ask yourself, "why does it sound harsh, and is it because I'm being a fuck-up?"

Whoa there, speedo. I made no claim as to whether there was harshness--just reasserted that we pummel because we care. :p

ZD, keeping score is a common impulse, but not a wise one. Poly folk tend to define polyamory in terms of wanting emotional connection and relationships with others. It sounds like the Booth Babe would qualify as more of a swinger or--perhaps a tad harshly--a tease. Some folks like to use the...

People who are passionate can often sound harsh. The interwebs doesn't do a lot to mitigate that common reality. I'm sure the others would agree that we all speak from a place of love and caring even when we feel harsh might be best. *hug*