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A couple things to consider. The avenues for dealing with abuse are extremely limited in this society. If I have a close friend who is being abused by her boyfriend, there isn't much I can do about it personally. If I want to go over to their house and smash his face in, I can do that, but I...

Might I ask why? I personally like the article. The author and I share a lot of similar viewpoints (primary-secondary structure is hierarchical in nature, rules are meant to constrain others, etc) but we arrive at them via different ways. I wonder if the author has a circle A anywhere...

I remember reading an interview years ago with a woman who'd been in porn for a while. She was asked if being a porn performer was degrading or if she felt exploited at all. She replied that the job she had where she felt least valued and most exploited and degraded was a waitress.

In myself. Being of limited resources (and apparently limited capacity to influence healthcare professionals) a lot of it has had to come from awareness of my own body. I noted that the changes in mood and the physical reactions happened after periods of intimate (though not necessarily...

I'm down. I sent you a message.

I'm talking about the very base of the idea, bricks one and two. Monogamy is, OED, a relationship involving a single other mate. Before you even get to how you spend time with each other. I'm the first to admit that the overwhelming majority of people dont intend to convey the idea of ownership...

Point taken, but at the risk of derailing the thread, poly relationships are generally more focused on the idea of integrating the needs and wants of their members into the structure of the relationship. Monogamy is one way and one way only.

Oxytocin does a number of things in the brain and among those is a somewhat nebulous (as far as I have been able to piece together) relationship with physical contact in humans. The levels of oxytocin in the blood flux when someone is touched and leads to feelings of comfort and attachment to...

My coming to terms with being poly fell, essentially, on three key ideas. You can evaluate and discard/modify/adopt/torch as you see fit for your needs. Point one, monogamy is, at its core, an authoritarian relationship based on ownership of another person. When you are in a monogamous...

I was wondering if anyone had spent much time researching or had any working knowledge of neurohypophysial hormones, specifically oxytocin. For various reasons, I've spent the last several months researching it, how the body produces it, and the mechanics of its actions in the body and the...

Fishing off the company pier is a baaad idea. I ignored that advice and got into it with a coworker that I still see on a near daily basis. It ended poorly but we still have to tolerate being around each other and its turned into some bad medicine. I'm usually the first to tell people trying...

Problem? As long as he isn't watching it ten hours a day or going for the real rape stuff, I'm not seeing the problem. I know it's probably a little disconcerting, but he will get access to the stuff one way or another. Better to let him access it at your house where you have a little more...

To be precise, I never claimed monogamy was claptrap or "entirely" about ownership. I said it was based on the concept of ownership. I would agree. There is some disagreement on that point. I'm very happy for you, and I don't disagree. I should have been clearer; the understanding that...

I stumbled across this when looking for another website. http://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/the-mainstreaming-of-polyamory/ Its interesting because the author is very clearly not in favor of the idea yet seems to be hinting that societal acceptance of polyamory is basically a given...

I would be careful with that because, as I recall, Arizona has laws against "fornication" and "adultery" that do technically include polyamory. I seriously doubt they're enforced with any degree of eagerness but it's still a potential problem that you should keep in mind. I'd talk to a lawyer...

Ownership of another person is essentially what monogamy was founded on. A wife was the property of a husband, and traditions to that effect extend to this day; the wedding ring was a symbol of who owned you, the dowry was payment to the husband's family so they'd actually be willing to take...

Its entirely possible and that's the best I can do without actually knowing you. I'm more of the opinion these days that monogamy is 95% cultural programming and less about innate biology and psychology than people think. I started my love life being as monogamous in thought and deed as I...

In my experience, alcohol just removes the chocks from things you wouldn't do sober. If someone's secretly an asshole, they'll be an asshole while drunk.

Its quite a persistent cultural idea. As I said, addiction is overwhelmingly couched as a "poor people's problem." Something that's a problem for junkies and other social rejects. Even the gamer addict's popular image is in the same visual category as a crack addict or heroin junkie. That used...

If you manage to solicit any, I'd love to know. OkCupid has been the main way I've met other poly people. Its very hit or miss, but has been the most successful thus far. Meetup.com is another site. You can look for poly or poly-friendly groups in your area. Well, introductions such as "This...