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Thanks for sharing this lovely vignette, Kevin. :) Always heartening and smile-inducing to hear stories like this, especially ones that have gone on for years and years. Congrats!

At first I thought the people just commenting "insecurity" were being a bit harsh. But then I thought, "is there ANY rationale I can think of other than insecurity?" And there wasn't. I can get saying "only one other partner", because time is a limited resource. And I can understand someone...

Got another one. What if you're dating someone for years and then they finally open up and reveal that they are trans and are thinking about transitioning sexes. Gotta dump 'em? ETA: I'm not being facetious, either, as there are multiple trans and genderqueer people in my intimate circles.

Good point, Tonberry, this system breaks down pretty quickly if you introduce a crush who's genderqueer, genderfluid, or agender. Does it come down to the person's bits at that point, to determine if they're "acceptable" or not? What about pre-op trans folk then -- which box would they fall in?

Updates to the updates! Turns out this isn't true when the sex is kinky. Turns out I was right to keep myself emotionally detached from the idea -- they weren't able to find a babysitter willing to stay extra late, and so we had to abandon the idea of hooking up. Gia is considering going...

I'm so sorry about this situation, LR. My least favorite things include not understanding what's going on, being ignored, and people not standing up for themselves. I can only imagine how frustrating this must have been. Hoping you find peace and/or he wakes up.

When I read your posts in which you questioned your relationship with Alec, rory, I was reminded strongly of the end of my relationship with Davis. I'm sorry for the pain it's causing you both, but I also think it will very much be for the best, and I'm also happy for you both that you have the...

Woah! I don't believe in fate, but what are the chances you'd end up with an additional baby, and happen to have an additional partner to help, eh? :D Works out well. So exciting!!!

Updates! * After six difficult months of unemployment, Davis got a new job. It pays well and it's in his field. :) :) He got very scared right before he started, and depressed that he had so few people to celebrate with. He's done a good job of isolating himself these past few years. I again...

Your feelings are normal, and I think you'll work through them. There's no reason, necessarily, to think that he and you won't ever have that special bond. You're in a very new relationship, so of course it's going to be very different from the long-term bond he's formed with his wife. But...

Without more specifics, it's hard to give advice. That said, I highly recommend the essays on jealousy at www.morethantwo.com.

I don't know if there's much to share, in terms of resources for looking for fwb's as a couple. Go to swinger's events, use OKC, or just proposition open-minded friends, be honest and straightforward about what you're offering, use protection, and have a good time! Understand, though, that one...

I'm gonna throw another vote in for laying your feelings on the table. What do you have to gain? A satisfying, open and honest relationship or relationships. What do you have to lose? A situation that's hurting you. Maybe write an email, maybe sit down with both of them, maybe start with just...

Yeah, I certainly think that's possible. But, in contrast, if it's a relatively brief conversation, consisting of, "So... yeah. This happened. Sorry. We're going out again this Friday. You wanna come? No? Okay, your loss. We promise to wear condoms from now on. Let's all pretend this isn't...

!!!!!!!!! :D Ohmygosh, thanks for sharing this with us, Phy! Congratulations!!

I'm not saying these people may not be deserving of a second chance, but I don't see how reiterating agreements can ensure there "can be no more" intentional betrayal. It seems like the agreement was clear already, and that intentional betrayal was an option for them, nonetheless. So, if they're...

Wow, 6 straight months of lying to you and exposing you to STI risk you weren't aware of (because even safer sex does carry some risk) and their proposal for making things right is that you join them, even though it's obvious you don't want that? WOW. Do these people have a history of acting so...

I'd sum it up like this, I think -- some people who go the marriage-and-kids route choose to make their nuclear family their whole life (not counting work or family-of-origin). That's ok! Some other people choose to make time to have a life outside of their nuclear family. That can include other...

*rolls eyes* And I'm a vegetarian between cheeseburgers.

Someone who sees people as people, and doesn't judge them on their superficial qualities. Who doesn't look down on someone for focusing on her family, or for lacking a certain skill. Exactly the sort of person you'd want to be involved with, in other words.