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Thank you. I'm sorry you're having to deal with anxiety and depression. Letting go of the attachment to why things happen, and to the outcome of things, is something I'm working on. To some extent I do want to know why I feel a certain way about something, because I perceive that as helping me...

To clarify, I hadn't asked him previously to tell me right away--or at all--if he is seeing someone else instead of me if I cancel our date night. It hadn't been a thing that happened before, because the only other time I've canceled was due to a blizzard. The request that he tell me right away...

I understand what you're saying. I see the way I feel about this particular situation, and the way I feel about his having other partners in general, as a big problem, and it's a thing on which I want to work. I don't think I can work on it if I don't know the root of the issue, or at least...

Thank you, Dagferi. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm glad you have Toby. I am looking for things that I can do that bring me joy or at least peace, and that's an ongoing journey. Off and on, I lose joy in things that previously brought me joy. Writing is one of those things, something which was...

That is definitely a mental shift I can work on making. It is very rare for me to cancel plans, so this isn't something that's come up before. The only other time I've had to cancel with him was due to a blizzard this winter, when obviously he didn't go out and do anything else either; other...

This is all good advice. Thank you. I want to form more friendships with women, as well as with men. Right now, I only have two platonic male friends I ever see, and I only see one of them once or twice a year; all others are either just online or they're "friends" in the sense of "we're...

I did say that the incorrect perceptions were due at least in part to my not clearly expressing myself. To you, it seems controlling that I want to be informed if he's seeing another partner on a night that would ordinarily be ours. To me, and to him, it falls under our mutual agreements about...

Ravenscroft, thank you for your kind reply. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has had to navigate something like this. (And that I'm not the only one who watches TV with their cats. LOL) I think what I *need* are better coping strategies (which I'm trying to learn) and additional people in my...

SEASONEDpolyagain, thank you for taking the time to reply. I'm polyamorous because I'm polyamorous. That's like asking why I'm straight or cisgender. It's simply who I am. If your question is why do I *do* polyamory, it's because I lived monogamously for a couple of decades and always felt...

It's hard to answer your question with a flat out yes or no. As powerpuffgirl says, the woman might be playing games. The fact that she says she's seeing this other guy and then says she isn't kind of points to this probability. However, different people have different levels of "honesty."...

Hmm. Where do I start? I've been doing poly for a little over five years. In that time, I've had four long-ish term relationships. My husband is monogamous. So were my first two boyfriends, though the first one had occasional no-strings no-emotion hookups with other women. Then I met my...

To reinforce Mags's point... I believe this refers to me. At least, it definitely describes me. I believe this also refers to me; at least, I do write erotic fiction. In fact, over the past nine years, I've had over 50 erotic novels, novellas, and short stories published, and that doesn't...

I'm sorry you're in that situation. I was recently in a similar situation with a partner; I loved him, he stated that he did not love me, and we only had contact when I initiated it. I can only remember twice that he texted me first; once was to confirm plans, and once was to cancel different...

SEASONEDpolyagain, while you offer what seems as if it might be a reasonable compromise, I'm curious about why you think it's OceanDonefish's responsibility, and that of the metamour's other partner, to add to the "let's get a hotel room" fund. The relationship is between OceanDonefish's partner...

As Lunabunny said, there are sects/offshoots/whatever of some religions, and some cults, that do allow contact with the "outside" world. The religion observed by the members of the Sister Wives family comes to mind; it is an offshoot of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints (as is...

I can completely relate to how you feel. For me, my entire apartment needs to be my safe space, due to PTSD and anxiety disorder. Home is the one place I don't have to be "on", where it's okay to fall apart into a blithering mass of panic or to just sit still because if I move, the world is...

I'm kind of on the opposite side of this. During the school year, I work 1-2 days a week. I don't do any volunteering. I have friends, but they aren't people I actually spend time with for the most part; they're people I'm friendly with if we happen to run into each other at an event or...

Yesterday was my birthday. It... could have been worse. I have a very negative history with birthdays for the most part, though I've had some positive ones. That usually leads to me having depressive episodes and anxiety leading up to my birthday. This year, that only started happening two or...

I'm a heterosexual, cis-gender woman. I have never had a sexual experience with another woman, nor have I ever had any desire to, so I can't speak to what sex with a woman is like. I can, however, speak to what sex with a man is like, and why I prefer having multiple male partners. For...

Last weekend when I went to the batting cages, Facets was there. I was hoping he wouldn't be; he hadn't been the previous two weeks, because he was too busy. Seeing him was not as painful as it could have been, but it was by far not my preference. Especially since he was parked beside me in the...