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Thanks for this, it answered my question. This. Very much this. Thanks GS! I'll take the possibility of fucking up a relationship of mine by crossing a boundary rather than the CERTAIN possibility that I'll destroy it by assuming I have any claim over my partner's choices.

What is a VETO agreement? Is that an acronym, or are you use it in it's typical "override" sense?

I don't control who I connect with and fall in love with. If they are poly, they're poly. If they're mono, they're mono.

I sort of had something like this, being a male. When my wife and I "opened" our relationship, it was because without talking, the limits of our relationship had come to a head. I thought, at the time, that SHE thought I'd slept with someone else and was telling me "This is okay". Later, I...

My answer? That people, in general, do not know themselves very well. The few that do are further limited by the ability to communicate well. Those people that know what they want and can communicate it become or at least explore, polyamory. This might be based on my own PERSONAL bias because...

I would just like to say this because I haven't seen it yet. It seems obvious, so maybe that's why it hasn't been said. To me, it doesn't seem like Baron's traits are the problem. It seems to me that your opinion of yourself is. First of all, do your girlfriend a favor and stop meshing her in...

Yes, for all of the reasons that I care about the other person. That's more or less what I'm saying there, is that I value each relationship for what it IS, rather than some ideal of filling all of those various roles. I think there's something wrong with the relationship, or you, if you start...

My wife has lots of casual sex with various partners. We're in an open relationship, but I do not consider her poly because, like your boyfriend, she does disconnect sex and intimacy and love. As she's been doing this, I find that I'm less and less interested in her sexually. I agree with you...

I started filling this out but it got kind of monotonous quickly. I would still have done it, but I took a break and when I came back it discarded everything and made me start again. Sorry. :(

As you should. The flip-side of the coin is, what happens if/when things don't work out? There's a negativity in that which I do not admire. Before entering into a relationship, one is thinking of the repercussions of it failing. I don't think that can lead to many fulfilling moments.

There's a thread about "to be open or not" where I gave a longer description of my views on being openly poly. That post is here if you're interested. So, more to your specific situation. First, understand that I'm not judging. I respect your concerns and fears. I think they're valid, and they...

I'm in "mindfuck" territory right now. Someone I've been seeing for a little while and getting very intimate with (emotionally, not sexually) told me last night that she's developing feelings for (and sexual attraction towards) me. I've certainly got feelings for her, but the biggest one is a...

It made me laugh. :) I'll say both a "thanks" in agreement AND a "you're welcome". We all make this place what it is, so you should pat yourself on the back too. :)

I am openly poly. My wife doesn't identify as poly and I think she may not be. The fact that our relationship is open is not a secret and I'm pretty visible and vocal about it. That's kind of my personality type. I'm iconoclastic and have no problem being the "initiator". I will say this...

Welcome to the forum. :) There's a New England group in existance that does absolutely nothing, but you're welcome to join it. :) Now, off to read your bio, it looks good. :)

Polyamory is not about sex. You can have sex with people you don't love and you can love people you don't have sex with. Poly is about the love of many or multiple people. For me, it also has connotations about the possibilties within relationships, but that's more about my personal journey...

I use poly folk a lot. I'm poly, or polyamorous. I describe myself with the term, not make the way I love into "a thing".

This I think is the key. I understand how that makes guys feel, stigmas and all. I don't think I'm technically classified as having ED and I sometimes get those insecurities. I think it's horribly underappreciated how men have body issues and communication both ways on the subject is vital to...

I've felt marginalized by both the poly and "mainstream" communities because of my age. Many mono folk think I'm in "a phase" or "testing the waters." I've even had one person say that "You're not really poly, you're just not sure what it is you want." I've also felt marginalized by the older...

Afar