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So, as I posted in the Poly Relationships section, Facets has reappeared. He had an emergency situation that necessitated him leaving the state for a couple of weeks, and he texted me the day after he got back. I don't completely understand why he didn't at least text me to say he would be gone...

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you with Kahlo or the new guy. I'm not sure from how you've worded that part of your post; is it appropriate to say congratulations about your daughter's new baby?

He didn't get "busted." He had to leave the state for a while to deal with an emergency situation, and he contacted me as soon as he got back. We're still discussing his going out of contact, and how to ensure something like this doesn't happen in the future. He could have texted me to at least...

I'm sorry that you and your husband have had this situation. I hope that you and he are able to recover from it and find healthier connections going forward. As for the children involved in that household, I agree with Galagirl and Lunabunny... please contact whatever children's social service...

I'm sorry you've gone through this. Sending thoughts for your continued healing. With your students, could you just tell them that you would rather not share with them what the surgery was, and that you're okay now? I'm a teacher, so I get that kids that age can be seriously curious, but I...

Thanks, me too!

Others have given you better advice than I could, but I just wanted to say that it sounds from your post like the other wife is aware that it isn't okay for her to dictate your sex life with her husband, and it sounds like that's something she wants to work on not doing. If that's the case, then...

I can't get into what happened, because it isn't my place to talk about. But I do consider it a valid reason, and while he could have taken a moment to text and let me know he would be out of touch for a while, or could have answered one of my texts, I understand that given the circumstance, he...

Lunabunny, I probably did forget to say that I'd seen him online and so knew he was physically okay. The calling thing... It isn't that calling is a problem, necessarily. It's just that we've been seeing each other since September, and I have NEVER called him. And the only time he has called...

and just after I posted the above, he texted... He apologized and explained what happened, so we're talking now.

I'm going to message his other partner later to ask if she's heard anything from him yet. I have considered calling or visiting. But I *never* call him, and am concerned that doing so now could come across as pushy or disrespectful (if he is struggling with something, he knows I'm aware that...

I don't know whether he could try or not. It's something I might bring up to him if I speak to him again. Right now, there isn't any way for me to ask him or suggest it. I don't think this is a common occurrence with him, though as I think I mentioned, he did say something indicating that it's...

Galagirl, giving him the benefit of the doubt, when he texted to cancel our date he may not have known that the "foul mood" would become something longer lasting. For example, when I have a depressive episode, I have no way to predict whether it's going to last an hour or a day or a week...

It definitely isn't easy for me to find partners, whether purely sexual or relationship. For that matter, it isn't particularly easy for me to find friends, so my difficulty is likely just me. On the other hand, I see a lot of women talking about getting tons of messages on dating sites. I...

I can understand why her expressing a desire for monogamy with your husband would make it difficult for you to trust that she won't cause or try to cause problems in your marriage. What it boils down to, however, is that you need to trust your *husband* not to let his other partner interfere...

Because I understand the mindfuck mental health issues can cause. If his mental health is playing a role, his behavior makes sense; isolating is a common behavior for some people with some types of mental health issues, and cutting contact with others is part of isolating. I don't *know* if...

Sometimes they agree because they believe--or know from past experience--that their male partner will either leave or cheat on them if they *don't* agree. Sometimes they agree because *they* want to have multiple partners, even though they can't handle the idea of their male partner having...

I posted about this in my blog, but wanted people's thoughts on the situation. Since September, I've been seeing a guy I refer to on here as "Facets." He's been good for me in a lot of ways, though we've also had issues (which have mostly been due to miscommunications and to incorrect beliefs...

I'm with Dagferi, though not for the same reasons. I've never dated a man who has a nesting partner, and it would take an incredible guy for me to change that. But I have had a very negative experience with a metamour, and I've had negative experiences with the majority of the other women I've...

The key there is "demands." There's nothing wrong with having different restrictions, etc., for one person than for the other, as long as both agree to it. Example: My boyfriend seems to prefer kitchen-table poly. He encourages me to talk to him about my other partners and potentials, and has...