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I really do thank you all for this thread and your posts in it. It may take me a while, but I read and try to absorb as much information as possible. Hearing from Redpepper and Mono about their recent play helps me understand what can be expected. LR, I really, really need these posts that...

Mmm, Vodkafan, I kind of don't get what you mean about handfasting, either. I've been handfast to Easy for twenty years. We celebrate that anniversary, we count it as our "real" anniversary, we don't miss that anniversary even if we can't do anything for our wedding anniversary. If I handfast...

I'm in a big rush right now, but I wanted to tell you guys what a big deal these last few posts have been for me. Thank you for sharing; they're very important to me. I'll come back later and expand on that.

Thank you, LR, I think you're right. I'm working on what to say and how to say it. I think I'll e-mail, which is not ideal--you can't read emotion well in e-mail--but I also often feel like I don't actually say what I tried to say when I attempt it in person. I guess I just realized that I'm...

Researching, darling. You're sacrificing yourself for his happiness. Let me tell you what happens when I (habitually) do this for my husband. He gets MAD. He feels like I'm pushing him away, that I don't want him, and that I can't be trusted to make my own decisions because I'm like a...

I kind of understand how your wife feels about the word "lover." For me, it sounds a bit hokey, as well. After a year and a half, we haven't settled on regular "names" for what we are. Before we even embarked on our quad relationship, though, we were already referring to each other as "other...

I had a great but exhausting weekend. On Friday, we went to a fundraiser for a dog rescue with Asha and Sunday and some of our other friends. When Sunday was ready to leave (Asha was staying) he went to hug me, and I said no, I was walking him to the car. Then, when we got to the car, he went...

I'm reading this as, give your blessing instead of let her. Honestly, at the very least, if you're uncomfortable having this guy in your home, you have that right, and I think it would be reasonable to start the negotiations with that. I don't know if you want to consider her seeing him...

Wow. I think that's just one of the most wonderful reasons to get a tattoo that I've ever heard.

Wow, that peacock feather is just gorgeous! Is there any significance behind that tattoo or the birds on your back?

Good news and I'm glad to hear it! There are bound to be times that you feel blindsided, because this is all new to you and it's scary. But I have faith that you can work through it, and it sounds like she's a great person. :)

Well, MrDreadful, we're geeks here, too. My kids just about died of happiness when they found a model of a Dalek at the gaming store.

I'm so vanilla it hurts. I look like that frumpy mom in your kid's class who smiles politely but doesn't talk much. I had my nipples pierced just before Christmas and I loved it. It hurt like H*LL and after the first one I wasn't at all sure I wanted to continue, but I felt committed and I...

Thanks, Mono, you're a ton of help. :P Please don't mention that to any of my kids, will you? They'd all think it was a hoot to try! :rolleyes: I'm feeling better, emotionally, today. I think that the biggest problem, in retrospect, is that Easy and Asha triggered old abandonment issues in...

First of all, you're not competing, not in a true poly relationship. He loves you both. You have definite qualities that she doesn't that he appreciates, whether you see it or not. I'm concerned that he keeps telling you to stop worrying. This seems dismissive and bound to build resentment...

While it is true that HPV can be spread even with condom use, recent research indicates that condoms are more effective at preventing the spread than previously indicated. Also, the vaccination only works against two forms that cause cervical cancer, the two most common, and only works on women...

Tiresias, I think she's simply frustrated with the world. You know, like, "Aw hell, another complication in the complicated world of poly-dating?" No judgement on anyone afflicted with herpes. It can be really frightening to think of leaving a safe, established sexual relationship and open...

Yes, Superjast, that did seem a little harsh. TeJoKo, I'm sure that it's NRE, and I'm sure some of it is also that he's nervous about hurting you. The more things go wrong, the worse he's going to feel, the more nervous he will get. Try to take a deep breath and come from a calm place, because...

Can I second or third the condom rule? Some STDs are completely invisible and don't scream, "Hey! Look at me! I'm going to kill you!" HPV can lay dormant for twenty years, and is being linked to all sorts of nifty cancers. Maybe not as frightening as AIDS, but take it from someone who had a...

So, building on the previous post, for example, my love language is physical touch. As a matter of fact, I scored so high in this one that I didn't have a secondary. After much struggling, Easy learned that no matter how furious I am with him, if he can sneak his hand somewhere where there is...