Hello all. I became involved in a poly relationship with an engaged woman about 6 months ago. Then this summer (4 & 1/2 months ago) I had to travel out of the country for work, and she got married, so we pretty much took a break except for the occasional hello.
Anyway, she has HSV-2 and told me this before we started any sexual activities. I evaluated the risks and decided to go forward with it. She's on medication, has had it for 5 years without an outbreak in 4 years, and is very healthy and aware of her body. We also ALWAYS used condoms. Anyway, I haven't been with her in about 4.5 months and was tested two weeks ago and came back clean.
We are about to meet again. I guess I'd say the first time we got together with her I was so attracted to her that it kind of blinded me a bit. We get along amazingly well I was new to poly at the time, and really wasn't really dating others, and was thinking of a potential live-in situation with her and her fiance/husband. We've talked prior to our break and she is only into keeping me as a secondary, and seeing each other maybe once weekly, with the occasional vacation, but maintaining her husband as very much her primary. This was a bit hard for me at first, but thanks to time and life and all that wonderful stuff, I am now fine with it.
Anyway, we are to meet again in a couple days. If it weren't for the HSV, I would totally be down to at least try the sort of relationship she proposes. I feel very much over my infatuation with her, while at the same time really (really) excited about polyamory. My issue is that her having HSV really limits me in finding other partners, because clearly I would relay that risk any new partner before we became sexually involved.
Basically, I am confused and really could use some advice. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any thoughts/words are super appreciated. Thanks!
Anyway, she has HSV-2 and told me this before we started any sexual activities. I evaluated the risks and decided to go forward with it. She's on medication, has had it for 5 years without an outbreak in 4 years, and is very healthy and aware of her body. We also ALWAYS used condoms. Anyway, I haven't been with her in about 4.5 months and was tested two weeks ago and came back clean.
We are about to meet again. I guess I'd say the first time we got together with her I was so attracted to her that it kind of blinded me a bit. We get along amazingly well I was new to poly at the time, and really wasn't really dating others, and was thinking of a potential live-in situation with her and her fiance/husband. We've talked prior to our break and she is only into keeping me as a secondary, and seeing each other maybe once weekly, with the occasional vacation, but maintaining her husband as very much her primary. This was a bit hard for me at first, but thanks to time and life and all that wonderful stuff, I am now fine with it.
Anyway, we are to meet again in a couple days. If it weren't for the HSV, I would totally be down to at least try the sort of relationship she proposes. I feel very much over my infatuation with her, while at the same time really (really) excited about polyamory. My issue is that her having HSV really limits me in finding other partners, because clearly I would relay that risk any new partner before we became sexually involved.
Basically, I am confused and really could use some advice. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any thoughts/words are super appreciated. Thanks!
