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An intervention type plan sounds good; I'd start with having a one on one with your male partner first. Talk about it, heart to heart, and what's going on. The treatment plan idea is a good one for sure. If she doesn't do something to help herself, walking away may be the safest bet.

I have no kids so, take what I say with a grain of salt. I'd want my kids to meet them first. Simply because kids ask questions, and if my kids didn't like the person I'd like ot help with that first rather than find out night of

^^^This

For the end gift, something around his love language? I have trouble with gift giving, I'm not the best at it for people when it comes to very emotional gift. PRactical gifts I'm ballin' at.

I'm going to call you Gold, your husband Silver, and the woman, Bronze for ease of things. Not rank intended. This does sound a little like unicorn hunting. I'm not sure if that was intended.

My friend did something like this. Every room was a different dungeon, beat the boss (a riddle or play fight fake bats or something), get key and a small gift. repeat until you get to final boss, get big/most meaningful gift. Maake sure that gift is wrapped to death.

I've been with a person for 11 years and have been dating people for an additional 4, is that enough experience? Lots of people never have children, does that affect the validity of their views on cheating? I have community property, loads of extended family.... While I agree that no one can...

After reading this thread and participating, I want to share what I've gained from it. I agree that there are many reasons people cheat, but I find it unacceptable and unethical. Feelings are feelings; not wrong nor right-but our actions can be wrong or right. Cheating definitely, to me, is...

Discuss things sooner rather than later. While you can get an idea of what poly is and what it means and how it can be done from books and internet, but you'll never know what is going on for him in his head unless you have that conversation. Are these feelings based on "I cannot do this ever...

She definitely got a lecture, directly referencing the areas of FOIP she violated and how inappropriate it was even if it wasn't illegal. I got the files she withheld (for 2 weeks) that very night.

I do not want to excuse her actions; since you have spoken to her before. As well as she should not be calling you crazy as that isn't really appropriate communication. Could it be that she doesn't view her questions as badgering? That, to her, they are just normal questions? My mom is like...

She's around but...yeah...not for this Oh for sure! And thank you so much:) Oh that's the plan. I was getting close to squeaky until the IUD came out; then everything stopped and I was just relieved. Now...now this means I'm not only going to be a squeaky wheel, I'll be a screaming wheel. My...

Surprisingly, the male doctor I saw brushed me off the LEAST. He was a young doctor, (with as I found out later a very keen interest in mental health), so not only was he willing to be like "I...really don't know so I'll refer you and pre refer you for the MRI as well." Basically I was told...

Thank you Kevin! I'm a major "let's research on google this before going to the doctor." Like, in total, I've probably spent longer researching this than any doctor I saw. I was never ever referred to a consultant. It's what I found with research, and literally not my endocrinologist, gyno...

This is less poly related and more...I'm just not sure where else to go and ask this. I have having idiopathic nipple discharge; it started last year and was caused by my IUD at the time, had that removed, then it resolved; I had medical testing to disprove cancer and a pituitary tumor and was...

While I still find that behavior unethical, that explanation makes sense

I mean I don't overall, but assume all you want. But with this I genuinely fail to see how the excuses are anything other than that. And saying that I only see black and white really doesn't answer the questions I asked.

I'm not assuming all people are mono, I am saying that is what they agreed to. Mono is pretty black and white. If they want these things, why have deception if they have no relationship problems? Again, then why not discuss this? Why agree to a mono relationship if this is your POV? That is...

I'm sorry you're struggling, I know brain weasels can be assholes. Do you know why you find sex dates the hardest? What's causing the nightmares? I'm not good at falling asleep if I don't know when someone will be home. Even as a child I needed to know 'when' to fall asleep. I'm a light...

But, seeing the POV from the side of the cheater vs works of fiction is more accurate, no? Then, if everything else is so important, why risk it by cheating? I feel like my point at least is being missed. If all of this is so important, why would you risk it, and frankly disrespect it, by...