Search results

I don't like dating people who tell me that my feelings are "irrational."

Hi Dreams, I just wanted to say, from reading your post, that you sound like a pretty awesome person-- thoughtful, kind, empathetic, and willing to do hard emotional work and to let Water be happy the way she wants to be. The fact that you are so empathetic about recognizing the monogamous...

In contrast to everyone else's advice so far, I wonder if you could simply accept the limitations on this relationship and decide to not let it bother you. Apply the "free-flowing" energy you have with your spouse to this connection. He's got commitments to his wife and he wants to respect her...

Hi dingedheart, One thing I wanted to say, but was hesitating to do, because it might derail this thread in a different direction: when you asked ninjin if she reported her date rape, that might have come across as an off-putting judgmental question. There are so many, many reasons why a woman...

I thought ninjin made some really good points and I was looking forward to hearing more from her. This paragraph in particular made me laugh out loud: I have definitely been on a date with a white dude who has a didgeridoo, and my ex and all his poly friends were into weird circus arts, and...

I am sorry this happened to you. They both sound very cruel and irresponsible. This isn't specifically a poly issue. If you had moved to join a monogamous person in a mono relationship, and he kicked you out while you were in the hospital, that would also be terrible and would leave you in the...

"I won't date my work colleagues" is a personal rule I have regardless of whether I am poly or mono... This situation could be messy.

It sounds like things are calmer now and you both are making some progress. One thing that stands out to me is that you seem to be trying hard to come up with reasons for Ali's friendship/connection to David (childhood friend/ex) that you can understand and relate to. But to me it seems like...

Can you afford to stay in California on your own? Can you go back to where you moved from? Did you move out there expecting to live with them?

As others have said, this ENM Dude is bullshit. He was happy to live with a partner & raise kids with her and date you & multiple other people casually...then he saw that you took a fun trip to Mexico with another dude (I'm guessing, someone younger, childless, unpartnered) and he got jealous...

I'm not sure I can give you the advice you want, because you say it's not a poly vs mono issue, but to me, it sounds very much like a poly vs mono issue. You are so deeply mono that it has taken you three years to get comfortable with the idea of swinging with another couple once a year, which...

Off-topic question: How did you accomplish the weight loss? :)

This lady is very immature for someone in her 40s. But it doesn't seem realistic to date someone online who lives on another continent so there is no realistic way of having an in-person relationship. Or at least, that kind of thing could be fun if you keep things light and casual, but getting...

When she and her new guy were at the house while the kids were home...did she and her boyfriend have sex while the teenagers were home? (The day they were ordering the pizza). Was that why one of her kids was snarky to her?

Welcome! My first thought is that 20+ years is a long time for anyone to be with the same person monogamously, regardless of gender/sexuality, especially when people get together as young adults (before age 25 when you are basically kids). It's weird to me that we live in a society where...

Huh, this is so similar to another situation that was recently posted here that I'm guessing your wife might also be posting here. anonCJ wrote: The thing about codependency is that it is very intense when both partners are relying on solely each other for happiness and security. I know that I...

Well, I am currently posting here while avoiding my family... who I am hosting in my own house. lol I never discuss poly dating with my family, but I'm not avoiding them for poly reasons. I am just too tired to talk to anyone. I guess I gotta get back to them. Anyway, just chiming in to say I...

I am sorry you are experiencing this. You don't describe anything here that makes your connection with him sound worth preserving. He didn't consider your feelings and he just expects you to go along with it?

Some people define asexuality as never experiencing sexual attraction towards other people. For example, gay people are attracted to the same sex, straight people are attracted to the opposite sex, but asexual people are attracted to neither/no one. With that definition, asexual people can...

Also, it sounds like your two partners should make an effort to schedule "bro time" with each other, the way they used to as friends.