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i am a cis woman but i have had a loving relationship with a pre-op trans-woman who remains a good friend. i can't speak for others in the poly community but i certainly wouldn't be trans-phobic and i would be very upset to think others were. x edited to add: i referred to her as pre-op only...

I feel love for my fuck buddy. It is a different kind of love from what I feel for my partners, but it is love, nonetheless. Just as I feel love for my niece, my dog, my friends, and just as the love I feel for each of my partners is unique and different from what I feel for the other. I can...

According to wikipedia (and similarly every other dictionary or encyclopedia i have read recently): "Polyamory, often abbreviated to poly, is sometimes described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy. The word is occasionally used more broadly to refer to any sexual or romantic...

The analogy with vegetarianism is limited, because no-one is arguing about the meaning of the word poly. It is our different definitions of amory that is causing the confusion. Unless there is an equivalent "is it meat or isn't it?" grey area, then the analogy is not very helpful here. Loving...

thanks! really nice of you hope you are having good days xx

no worries ;)

you mean she

i don't know how we could measure what the majority people who identify as poly would define as poly, and anyway i don't support majority-based decision-making. i work through concensus. clearly there is no concensus about what poly means so we may have to accept that polyamorous people are...

I still think that anonymous sex with a stranger who you don't expect to see again can be a form of poly if done within a poly relationship. I could be wrong, but that's how I see it. Amongst my best friends are a gay male couple who have been together for about twenty years, who identify as...

Thank you so much for all your responses. i followed the link, read it, followed other links within the piece, did lots of reading, its all good and helpful. Unfortunately, it seems the relationship between my lover and his other lover has ended already. she was upset apparently because she...

Apart from potential debates about the use of the word slut, the interesting thing for me here is the idea that poly specifically and only refers to multiple loving relationships, that if you are "just fucking around" it isn't poly. I guess I had assumed up until now that poly was more of a...

I am a bit bewildered by this post. I use the word slut as a positive thing, so can't really connect with the fear of being one. I am a slut, and proud to be one, because I am proud of who I am as a whole, of which that is part. Have you heard of the book "The Ethical Slut"? I have identified...

for those that have, at what point did you meet them? or did you already know them before they became lovers with your lover? at what point did you openly talk with them about sharing a lover? how did you feel about meeting them?

Thank you redsiren. i think it generally is true when i am feeling jealousy it is a sign of other issues. if i am feeling really really good about myself i don't feel jealous or insecure. I think a part of me wants to be his primary, but mostly i don't want to go down the route of declaring...

Jealousy I'm finding myself surprised by the level of insecurity and jealousy I've been experiencing recently. I've been with my lover 2 years. We both had one night stands with other people now and then, he more than me, both openly talking about our feelings as we went along. We've been...

yes i was like that a bit

yay! sure is :D thanks for your nice words

sorry but i can only say how i am, i can't really say why i am. not without years of analysis at least! which i don't plan to do. instead of wondering why some people want certain things and other folk want something different, for me it is more important that i just accept how things are and...

great to hear from you all x

i'd still love to hear what y'all getting up to in new england though :o