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    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    One thing that occurs to me is at this point, both of you need to decide what YOU WANT and move from there. Do you want to be with him? Know that it is going to be hard while you resolve all this. Does he want to be with you? No, his assessment of whether he is good enough or what you need or...
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    Levels of Communication

    Maybe your wife is concerned that you seem to be disengaging from the lifestyle or whatever the personal stuff that you're struggling with is causing you to go into a silo. Sometimes we need that, sometimes we hide from what we can't handle in one. This can concern partners if they don't...
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    Metamouring-well, passive communication and more

    Disclaimer: My reply may seem tangential, but sharing anyway, because I think it might help. Second disclaimer: I could be completely wrong. You had an expectation from yourself in that scenario that wasn't met. Possibly some ideal poly partner behavior that you should have gracefully...
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    Vee having sexual experience together, hinge upset

    I'm not very prone to jealousy as long as I am not directly harmed in any way. So it was a bit hard to read through this thread and really understand what you were saying. I'm not sure I understand it still. My mind keeps going to "yeah, I've had lousy sex where partners did things I didn't...
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    Limerence, recovery,

    I tend to overthink everything and prefer extreme clarity - which can freak people out when it comes to interaction/emotions, because most people aren't used to being so actively aware/engaged/observed on an emotional level unless something goes wrong. I notice the smallest nuance, which can...
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    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    Some ways Miket reacts reminds me a lot about Spexy. Inability to process emotions and communication when it gets hard, getting overloaded and "numb" and so on. extreme melodramatic reactions and inability for normal conversations about a problem... We had hit a crisis in our relationship when...
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    Mono-Poly relationship woes

    So now we have a person who looks at women as "toys" for sexual play. And someone who has also lied to you. All I can say is sometimes our hormones can have us derailing our dignity.
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    Sex and libido when dating a married couple. Advice?

    If he is currently more attracted to you than her, you getting involved in the issue with low attraction between them will be counterproductive, because your involvement will make it even harder for him to be aware of the attraction between them. You may mean well, but if your intent is to help...
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    Help! Mixing business with pleasure. 3 sad friends.

    Dinged, what part of "everyone is sad, worried everyone else is sad and just in a really negative spiral" and "C is just not into it.... C is trying really hard but is just at the end of his rope." Sounded like the ray of sunshine you posted? I suppose if the woman and her mother were both fine...
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    Help! Mixing business with pleasure. 3 sad friends.

    This is a really pathetic situation. Talk of seeing a mess and willingly walking into it. Being poly doesn't mean you have to sleep with everyone you are attracted to or that not having a sexual relationship means hiding that you are poly, just like being mono doesn't mean you sleep with...
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    Mono-Poly relationship woes

    Don't marry unless this gets resolved. Did your fiance know who she was when he got involved with her? If yes, dump him already. If no, why did you reconcile after you nearly broke up with him several times when she lived with you? If your fiance was not aware of who she was AND if she...
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    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    Can a mod split this thread? Is it possible to split this thread so that FunSlut's post and replies to it go on a separate thread? The way I see this, it is a real issue with advice needed (and possible - WOW) on both ends and the ones to Miket are getting lost in the latest replies which are...
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    Break up

    Sucks, but not much you can do. Be kind to yourself and pamper yourself a bit. Do stuff you like, etc. Celebrate relationships you enjoy. Whatever your equivalent is for "chocolate for down moods".
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    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    Hate to say this, but the person being taken for granted in a relationship is NEVER able to directly challenge it successfully - if they were taken that seriously, they wouldn't be taken for granted. At least I have not seen it happen as a direct challenge. At best a part of a larger issue that...
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    Looking for posts about breakups due to metamour relations

    The two sentences seem incompatible. Or perhaps you are saying Sir is usually good at hinging, but this toxic mess is overflowing. Others have pointed out that you don't have to have a relationship with Grace. And you have said that you have stopped it. Now your issue seems to be that you can't...
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    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    Ravenscroft, in my view, you NAILED it. I hate to sound preachy and my intent actually is more about utility. Hard language doesn't bother me. At all. I use it plenty myself. Just that one of the most important posts on this thread ended up derailing itself on presentation. Blunt language tends...
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    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    My take is nowhere near as optimistic as most of those coming before. I find this situation emotionally exploitative at best and abuse - more likely. I agree with what Ravenscroft said, though the manner in which he said it ended up derailing his own impact by objections to how he said it...
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    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    Oh wow. I had this open in a tab for quite some time and didn't realize how much the thread had progressed since I read it.
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    I'm a hypocrite, and I don't know what to do

    One penis policy is unlikely to work unless all YOUR partners are either bi-but-mostly-into-women or monogamous. It is unrealistic to expect her to agree to this and you have to respect her maturity that this hasn't come to a halt and "we need to talk" before this. She is clearly giving you time...
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    How to invite your wife into polyamory ?

    Page 15. Hey LoveQuest, what do you think of my understanding of people? Not bad, eh? You don't need more discussion, you need to consider the possibility that people saying things you don't want to hear aren't stupid and may have something useful for you. We are all anonymous here. It...
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