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Like I said, I did my best. Im just saying I wasn't trilled being labelled 'mono' when that's the last thing I am, even if I happen to only have one partner right now, and often have had none for long periods of time.

In a non-veto you are choosing to leave or make a sacrifice (stay anyway). In a veto you are forcing him to leave or make a sacrifice (break up with her). Veto is about force. You hold the right to demand an action from another person. Now given, in a non-veto he may choose to sacrifice (give...

Trying to make plans to see Mal weekend after next. He was supposed to be doing professional development in the city where Billie lives, and I'll be there visiting her at the same time. But it's Djinn's company (that he sometimes works for) that was going to pay for the course, and she "went off...

I have one partner, he is not 'primary', he's just the only one I have. He has two partners. I think the other one is primary, he would say we both were. His other partner also has a partner whom she is in love with, and who has multiple sex partners but would say he has no primary. So... How...

Same but opposite for us. It seems harder for Mal (as a male) to be in that position, unfortunately. I think I'll discuss the joint account idea with him next time I see him. He could put what can in, and then it's 'our' money? Well, worth talking about anyway.

Jet plane day tomorrow. Off to see Mal in our 'half way' city. First I've seen him since Xmas. Can't wait, but am also super tired, and only 3 weeks off my ADs, so feel a bit out of sorts. Not the least because the ADs had an appetite suppression side effect, so I've gained a bazillion pounds...

I'm playing everything by 2Cellos on repeat right now. Our next IRL date is to see them live in a couple of weeks in our "half way between" city. I can't wait :)

Yes, we discuss this regularly. I just signed a long lease on my office, and have *zero* plans of moving, and his kids mean he won't be moving either. So we are definitely not on the 'escalator'. It confuses everyone, especially Djinn. But sometimes it confuses us too. So, yes, we have "DTR"...

Us too.

Because you had a busy emotional day? The anniversary of my dad's death is in November, it's over 3 years now, and it's still crazy emotional that day (and on his bday too) and I try to avoid doing anything strenuous on those days.

Yup, this for me too. Mal identifies as poly. He told me a big part of what attracted him to Djinn at first was her attitude towards sex/multiple partners. I don't think he considered poly because she always wrote the rules. Once she said the rules included poly he had a "oh! This! This is how...

Having been through the same thing last year (with less communication even, sigh), I have to say that it is REALLY important that every person owns their own decision, and while they need to take other people into account, they can't own each other's decisions. My experience (in short form...

Had an illuminating conversation with one of Mal's ex-partners last night: Ahh! I though it was just me! Or just the poly that was pressing buttons for her. But it's deeper than that. Ok! Not me then. That changes how I think about her behavior. And how I can react to it. Feel like that was...

... And the broken leg has me humming that song constantly. Video here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8-YvO_k03-s Paint Your Wagon (which the song is from) was one of my favorite movies as a kid. It certainly affected the way I think relationships could/should be! No wonder I ended up in a...

Thanks for the resource. That's a good read.

Thanks, I have one, and good mono friends who are supportive too. But there's something about hearing from someone who has/is going through the same thing that is also useful and supporting. Ah well.

Well, I think that Mal and Djinn's marriage is in its death throws. She has been sleeping downstairs in the separate apartment (with Aladdin) since a week before Christmas. She and I aren't relating well either, I spent the week before Christmas there, and we had a... misunderstanding ... about...

Thanks Reflections :) I definitely empathize with the one relationship going well, and one not problem. I don't know how to deal with it at all :( It's hard again. Djinn and I had a falling out over a long held misconception on her part. I thought I'd been clear on the topic for years (since...

Just a little drive by to say "Hi", and that we are still around and still doing about the same! My daughter is moving to within a couple of hour's drive of Mal and Djinn's house next week, and I'm driving her out there (18 hour drive from here! Ugh!) and then Mal is meeting me and after...

Much excitement in my life lately. I sign a lease on new office space tomorrow, and will be moving my office in the new year when the improvements are done. Billie is moving out (closer to Mal and Djinn) to go to school, so I'll get to see her and them each time I go that way. :) On the down...