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Erm, I feel a little like I'm intruding on a private conversation, so I apologise if that's the case. I also feel like I'd like to make a suggestion, so I'm going to comment anyway. You mention (like, a lot) that you're very upset about what happened in the past between you and Karma. Which...

Just to clarify, are you actually talking about someone saying that they could love an infinite number of people? If that's the case, I can imagine why you're skeptical; there's some sort of metaphysics going on there that's hard to grasp. But really, if someone were to say to me "I have an...

Oh, I don't think you're wrong about that at all. We live in a sex-negative culture; poly- people aren't immune to the effects of that, and so engage in slut-shaming frequently. If you're interested in a long essay exploring this in detail, you can find one here. Well, since I don't think...

If it's getting in the way of the three of you doing things that you enjoy together, it's probably worth figuring out and changing. What's your relationship with her like? Could you just ask her, "How does it make you feel to see me being affectionate with C?" and expect an honest answer?

Hm. Are you sure that the confusion is on her part? If what she wants is to have casual sex while otherwise having a relatively mainstream relationship style, she's going to confuse people by identifying as poly- (like, for instance, all of the people on this forum who have responded to...

Taxes (a little wonkish) I think that this tax conversation is conflating a couple of different things. Individual nations use tax policy to further that nation's economic priorities, which are entirely seperate from any concern for the species as a whole. Furthermore, this "states as...

That may be an unusual concern, or one that you don't sympathise with, but if it's something that's important to him (and it sounds like it is), and your relationship with him is important, then you should try to ameliorate that concern. You can do that by asking what he'd like to see you...

Given your "20 people a day" comment, I think Mr. Savage is being unfairly maligned here. Wait, isn't she your ex-? Giving you the benefit of the doubt, I don't see why this is at all relevant; you know exactly what it is like to be in a relationship with her, so why even bring this up? In...

Well, at the end of the day, the decision is up to Stephen. You get to ask him whatever you want, and he gets to decide what he wants to do. But I think that the answers to your questions are relatively straightforward. You have totally legitimate concerns about your partner being involved with...

Well, here's one thing that just about everyone agrees on; communication skills are very important in poly- relationships.

I'm with Ariakis; the "friend" was being a jerk, and owes Tomte an apology, given that the rules of that friendship are clearly that they aren't to be smooching each other's partners. What I, or other poly people, might think of those rules are sort of beside the point, since they exist in this...

One way in which being poly- differs from being single is that one (ideally) gets trusted, insightful reality checks from one's partners about new potential interests. I suppose that I could come up with a list of criteria for poly- dating (must be reasonably enthusiastic about being in poly-...

It's definitely ok, and may be normal. Lots of couples find that they like to schedule their respective date nights on the same night, other people find that they like getting some alone time. Phrasing it as a "need" seems kind of strong to me, though. As Redpepper suggests, I'd try to pin...

Short answer; both, and a toolkit for doing multiple romantic relationships well.

Survey Actually, someone did do a survey of polymatchmaker, and discovered that there was about twice as many men as women (mentioned here). Well, sure. But many people for whom things are going well are out modelling what healthy poly- relationships are like for their friends and...

Not to be overly pedantic, but I doubt that I've met 1000 poly men in my life, and I've been in various poly communities for many years now. I'm kind of wondering if you've met any at all, given the description above. My partners are people who are, well, my partners. I am actually, you know...

Polyfail As far as I know, that was coined by my ex-girlfriend. It's sort of a shame how useful it is.

Er... what?

I agree with Mono about this part. You are making a smart, and maybe a little challenging for you, request that a lot of people who have experience with this strongly encourage, and you're getting resistance instead of having that kind of willingness to do the work encouraged. That's some...

Yeah, I totally think that this is an interesting question. I'm finding it really hard to answer, though. I suppose that I would be sad if I were to somehow know for certain that I would never be with someone new again for the rest of my life. There's something really... powerful or...